Poor Biff’s Almanac — Friday Edition
I made it to another Friday!
Every Monday morning when the alarm goes off at the unnatural hour of 6 a.m. and one of my eyes opens (I can’t ever get both eyes to work as a team until about 10 a.m. Monday morning), Friday seems like some mythical event foretold in some ancient prophecy no one really believes in any more. As I shave and brush my teeth (with the difficulty level set at 10, because of the aforementioned non-cooperation of my eyes) I am giving myself my usual Monday morning pep talk.
“Friday is a real thing,” I tell myself. “It will be here in a mere five days. Just five days. I can do this! I got this!”
This is followed almost immediately by, “Aw, who am I kidding? We all know that by the time Wednesday gets here, time will have slowed down so much that it will actually begin to go backwards and we will have to reset our calendars to be the day before.”
And yet, somehow Friday always arrives and I am always surprised and amazed, as if it were a surprise birthday party that my friends planned so cunningly that it was actually a surprise. On Friday mornings, when the alarm goes off at the unnatural hour of 6 a.m., I always jump, surprised, and then smile and I feel like I should say, “Oh! You guys! You really got me good!”
I then jump out of bed and reenact the “Good Morning!” song from the 1952 hit musical film “Singin’ in the Rain”. I play the part of Donald O’Connor since I look better in light gray than dark gray. Besides, everyone wants to be Gene Kelly. I don’t have to fight to be Donald O’Connor. Plus this is St. Patrick’s Day, so I thought it was more appropriate to pick the more Irish-sounding name.
I then wake up and realize that Debbie Reynolds is really the rack I hang my robe on. And that I’m not Donald O’Connor. And that I can’t sing. Or dance.
But I don’t care, because it’s Friday!