Poor Biff’s Almanac: I’m Back
Although I’m sure no one noticed that I’ve been away, I wanted to announce that I’m back.
This isn’t your usual I-gave-up-blogging-a-year-ago-but-now-I’m-back-for-a-single-post-before-I-leave again post. I’m sure we’re all familiar with those. I have been guilty of that myself. But this isn’t that.
No, I was merely out of town for a week and wasn’t able to post my usual drivel on here. I’m sure you were all devastated. I’m sure the Internet was lit up with people posting on all the social media sites, wondering just what in the heck happened to good ol’ what’s-his-face. Boff. Or Piff. Or something like that.
I was offline for a week because I went to Alabama (but not with a banjo on my knee) to visit the land of my forebears (and two cats). A fine time was had by all and excessive amounts of calories were consumed in the form of eggs & bacon & grits, biscuits and molasses, red beans and rice, cornbread, baked sweet potatoes (with butter), pecan pie, Moon Pies, sweet tea, and potfuls of Luzianne coffee (with chicory). It was all I could do to stagger back to Texas under the weight off all them vittles that were, by all accounts, sticking to my ribs (just as my mother warned me they would). I may have to replace the suspension on my truck.
And now I’m back in Dallas. I have put myself on a strict lard-free diet to counter the effects of a week of down-home Southern cooking. But I’m here to tell you … I would kill right now for a slice of genuine Alabama pecan pie and a steaming mug of Luzianne coffee.