I haven’t done one of these Ramble posts for a while, so here ya go. Free of charge.
You’re welcome.
Cruel (and Unusual) Summer
After several months of below-average temperatures here in Dallas, Summer strode into town today spoiling for a fight. Apparently people had started questioning Summer’s manhood and it therefore felt it need to prove itself. So Summer showed up today, pushing its sleeves up over its bulging biceps, and chewing menacingly on a toothpick.
Even though the official temperature was only about 96 (35.5 C), the digital readout in my car said it was 102 (38.9 C). I tend to believe my car thermometer more than the weather people. I think they take their temperature readings in the break room at NOAA.
And I have no idea what the heat index was today. Once it’s above 100, does it really matter?
Not to THIS reporter, it doesn’t. Cooked is cooked.
Running an Anti-Fever
On a semi-related note, I heard someone comment earlier today that they had measured their temperature because they were feeling a little under the weather. They said they were running a temperature of about 99.5 degrees.
I found myself wondering if it is even possible to accurately measure your body’s temperature when the ambient temperature is higher than the average body’s temperature. It seems to me, that if the ambient temperature is 102 and you stick a thermometer in your mouth, that you will actually end up cooling off the thermometer and causing it to drop down to about 98.6 degrees.
I think for one to accurately measure their body’s temperature on a day like this, they would need to lay down in an air-conditioned room until they become iso-thermal, and then insert a temperature probe into their core.
Sure it would hurt like hell … but at least you’re laying down in an air-conditioned room!
Some people sure do like to complain.
The Cost of Freedom
Yesterday my phone pinged me and when I looked at it, I saw a message from Whataburger saying that my loyalty had paid off and that they were sending me a coupon for a free Whataburger. All I had to do was purchase a medium drink and medium French fries.
How could I pass up a free hamburger?
So I eschewed my usual salad that I have for lunch and ventured to my local Whataburger.
“I will take one free Whataburger, my good man,” I said confidently and with a slight British accent, waving my digital coupon about airily.
He was only too happy to oblige and rang up my free burger, and my non-free fries and soft drink.
I was shocked (SHOCKED!) when my bill came to a little over five dollars! My usual bill for eating at Whataburger is usually only about three dollars. But that is for the small burger, the small fries, and nothing to drink.
So my free burger ended up costing me two dollars more than I would ordinarily spend for lunch. That’s because they suckered me into buying a larger fries that I want (or need) and larger soft drink than anyone could possibly drink in the course of a day.
Well played, Whataburger. Well played.
Biff Sock Pow 
Buy one, get one free is another great scam!
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Tell me Biff, did your experience at the Whataburger feel like someone had laid you down in the air conditioning and stuck a thermometer in your core to see if you were overheating because of their sleight of price? 🙂
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Ha ha! I very much did.
Unfortunately, I am a sucker for coupons, so I’m sure this won’t be the last time I am similarly scammed.
And I love your expression “slight of price”. I will have to remember that and use it in the future.
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Biff, “slight” should actually be spelled sleight. Otherwise, LOL, use the expression to your heart’s content. In my opinion, it aptly describes what is going on in our marketplaces nowadays!
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D’oh! My brain was actually thinking “sleight”. However, my fingers did their own thing (as they often do). They just went with what they’re used to.
And so true about the marketplaces.
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🙄😏🤔
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Caveat Shemptor – Beware of the 3 stooges
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Ha ha! I haven’t heard that before. It really tickled my funny bone. And then poked me in the eyes and slapped the back of my head and hit me in the face with a banana cream pie.
Oddly enough, I never watched the 3 Stooges much growing up. For some reason, they just didn’t appeal to me. However, I just recently rediscovered them on (where else?) YouTube and I must say, I find them hilarious! I used to think them inane and juvenile, but I now recognize their comic genius. They were masters of timing and choreography.
I also just recently read that they were basically screwed by their studios and they got next to nothing for all of the wonderful movies and shows they did. This is criminal behavior! The people responsible for it need to be called out for it and a permanent stain or smirch added to their names and histories.
(Falls off soapbox and lands in a banana cream pie)
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Thanks for not putting up a pay wall, Biff! And if you do, I’ll scale it by using fake bitcoins.
Vancouver has a temperate (tops is in 80s summer now) climate, however, with climate change, we will likely have extreme temps in the future, as you ‘enjoy’ there in the big D.
Smoke from forest fires envelops our city, most of the summer – this too will likely be a permanent thing. We all don our masks, like very inept and wimpy criminals. Do you see a lot of breath masks in the city? With our Asian population inured to the smog of China, a lot of them are worn here. And those full face visors so they look like Cylons from Battlestar Galctica.
I dislike things being poked into my core, always have. Where would you like the needle – knee or butt. Always knee, me.
‘So I eschewed my usual salad.’ Haha. No one likes a liar, Biff. Please. Was it steer parts smothered in sauce?
Fake British accent!!! LMAO biff! TWO DOLLARS MORE!!! How the deuce do they deduce THAT? Well played indeed, Biff! Hopefully you went for a brisk run in the 100 degree heat afterwards. In those conditions, it is only necessary to run for 5 sconds for a full aerobic workout.
My mum has thousands, but some of my faves are: DO ONE! (as in get lost) DEFO, i use all the time, definitely!
BILLY NO MATES – self explanatory,
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I keep a large jar of fake bitcoins (is that redundant?) on my desk, right next to the large jar of pennies that, even when full, is only worth about four dollars. So I’ll add your fake bitcoins to one jar or the other. I just have to make sure I don’t touch either one until I after I retire.
Your summers sound awesome! (Except for the smoke part.) And, in spite of our large Asian population here, I rarely see breathing masks. I have been tempted to start wearing them because my allergies kill me every year. And every flu season I keep hoping that the masks will catch on here and become “a thing”. Sadly, they have not. People continue to cough indiscriminately on everyone without even pretending to cover their mouths.
They deduce that my British accent is fake because I am horrible at doing accents. I’ve always envied people who could, though. And, a 5 second run through 100-degree Dallas heat is the equivalent of running the Boston marathon while being chased by rabid pit bulls. So … yeah … great cardio workout.
As for the salads … I have actually been eating them lately. And even using low fat dressings on them. I have recently become aware of my mortality, so I’m trying to stave off the bitter end until … well …the bitter end. And I don’t like bitter things in my salads, either.
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I wondered where Summer wandered off! Came here for a couple days in between 68 – 70 degree “June Gloom” last week. Hear it’s on the way back. Maybe wanted to get some Whataburger out there and then swing back for the fish tacos… San Diego’s trademark…
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Ha ha! No one can resist Whataburger … not even Summer. But fish tacos are pretty good, too.
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Let the buyer beware! 🙂
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I try to beware, but I’m usually so oblivious to what’s going on around me that I’m an easy target. 🙂
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