The Fall of my Discontent
Today I would like to bundle up in a warm coat, perhaps don some gloves, and go for a tramp through the fallen leaves and the brisk autumn air. I would like to see my breath when I exhale. I would like to look forward to a warm, steaming beverage when I finally get in out of the chilly air. However, Mother Nature with her long history of not caring what I like or don’t like, chose to have it be a sultry 90 degrees (32 C) today and about 60% humidity. The sun is so bright one must wear sunglasses. Wearing anything thicker than a T-shirt will cause one to run the risk of heat stroke. And the only refreshing beverage that sounds good right now is iced tea or perhaps Gatorade.
Tired and Feeling Low
Can anyone explain to me how every autumn, like clockwork, the tire pressure warning light in my car turns on? It is usually on or around the first “cold” snap we have (cold being a relative term). I will be driving to work and the light will come on. I will check the pressure and, sure enough, each tire is anywhere from five to ten pounds under what it should be. This happens on multiple cars over multiple years, so I don’t think it is because I have a wonky car.
I understand all about air expanding and contracting as temperature rises and falls. I understand about materials becoming more brittle as temperature falls (and so perhaps not holding a seal as good as it should). I understand that tires just lose a little pressure in the course of performing their duties of hitting potholes, speed bumps, and armadillos. It is just the uncanny timing and precision that has me a bit nonplussed.
Halloween candy has a strange attribute. In the weeks leading up to Halloween, when walking through the store, the candy displays looks so inviting, so delicious, so irresistible. The stacks of bags of candy corn and fun-sized versions of everything from M&Ms to Baby Ruths to Kit-Kats to anything you can imagine make our eyes light up. We are happy just to run our hands over it and ooh and ahh about how wonderful it all looks.
Then, in the week after Halloween, when it has been reduced to a third of its cost before Halloween, when it now lays in disorderly piles on clearance racks and tables, when the M&Ms are mixed with the Kit-Kats and the Nerds are jumbled in with the Twizzlers, it all just looks so tawdry and unappealing. I think it is like waking up after a night of alcoholic excess and finding someone less-than-attractive laying next to us in bed (not that that has ever happened to me, but hey! I watch TV and movies too!).
Suddenly, what just yesterday was enticing and alluring and beguiling, is suddenly tawdry and gaudy and meretricious. The thought of eating any of it is actually a little nauseating.
But we buy it anyway … because it’s 75% off. And who knows when we’ll be able to buy a pound of candy corn for ten cents ever again?
It just occurred to me that I could have gotten four small individual blog posts out of this, rather than one package of four posts. But this way I can sell in bulk and pass the savings on to you, my Dear Reader. So, later, when you are at home and wondering to yourself, “Why did I buy four of these when I really only need one?”, you can think clever marketing.
Or, more accurately, you can thank my laziness. I don’t have the time or the energy to create four different posts, with all of the concomitant activities of finding clever (ha!) artwork, thinking of effective tags that will get me lots of reads, and trying to think of pithy titles that will grab the attention of rapidly-scrolling readers.
So, my laziness is your gain. And has all of the appeal of Halloween candy the week after Halloween.