Hi! I am Biff. Welcome to my cluttered little wordsmith’s workshop. It’s not much, but it’s where I come to escape from the world and all of its sound and fury. Here you will find hand-crafted humor and levity (with occasional bursts of jocularity). It may not be professional quality, but it is original and lovingly crafted with affection. Think of me as Geppetto, and of my humble little posts as awkward wooden puppets who hope someday to become quality writing.
I am a man in my mid-50s, thus completing my transition to complete invisibility and irrelevancy. This allows me to move about society unobserved as I observe our modern culture. I live in the world’s most boring suburb of Dallas, Texas. I am married, with a twenty-something year old daughter, two cats, a mortgage, and something that approximates a career. Think of my life as the embodiment of the “quiet desperation” that Thoreau wrote of. Hey, if I can find the humor in that, I can find humor in anything! Thus this blog.
Feel free to visit my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/biff.sockpow
So you’re Biff, eh?
Pleased to meetcha and thanks for dropping by to read some of my own musings.
Love yer site, buddy. Full of idiosyncratic goings-on. Great stuff.
(were we separated at birth?)
Yer Canadian Cuz,
John Ormsby
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Hello, Mr. Ormsby! Yes, by all accounts I am indeed Biff. I’m glad to meet you, too, and so very glad you like my site! I hope you’ll return often and that you can always find something to amuse you. 🙂
Furthermore, I am always delighted with my Canadian cousins drop by, for I have a deep kindred feeling towards our neighbors to the north. So perhaps it is as you suggest … we were separated at birth.
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Hi Biff..I spent 23 of the longest years of my life in Houston (four hours from you by car/
one hour by plane). I don’t get a sense that you’re a Texan…..I could be wrong, but maybe Louisiana? Don’t tell me give me more clues. I want to figure this out.
Greetings from the Texas Hill Country where it’s coooooooooold. Well, at least for this part of the world.
Best,
LK
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Never mind. I inadvertently read a response to a comment. You are a Texan. Damn . I was looking forward to an old fashioned city scavenger hunt. Oh, well. You could be from a Lubbock.
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Sorry about being a Texan. 😉 If it makes you feel any better, I am a transplant from somewhere else.
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Hi Laurie!
I’m not Texan by birth, but I’ve been here for well over 30 years, so I’m practically a native. Before that, I was primarily raised in the Deep South (Alabama, Mississippi).
I’ve only been to Houston a few times (mostly passing through it on the way to somewhere else. My most lasting impressions of it is that it is complete and utter chaos due to its lack of zoning laws. Still, there are very few perfect large cities. Dallas certainly has its warts.
But Hill Country is different. I have driven through it several times and it is absolutely beautiful. I’d settle down there if it weren’t this pesky “working for a living” thing.
I hope you’re staying warm! But, if it’s anything like Dallas down there, it’ is already warm again.
Thanks for dropping by!
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I was looking forward to trying to figure out where home was for you. Not a native Texan? No biggie. You’re still a son of the south. And that’s okay with me.
It gets chilly in the hills, especially at night, but probably close to to 70. You could wear a sweat shirt and not produce enough sweat or BO to be used as a WMD. Thanks to no humidity.
Houston is a hellish reality, but I liked it better than Dallas. I had options in my career to go to Dallas and while I have tons of family up there and Ive visited many times, I just couldn’t do it.
I live not far from Boerne now which isn’t that far from San Antonio, which I like even even less than Dallas, and would you believe Boerne has no zoning either? It’s coconuts! Plus “white flight” out of SA and Houston has all but destroyed Boerne’s charm. It’s crowded, people are rude and taxes are insane.
I’d move again, but at 60, It’s easier just to write a damn check ,
Come by Saturday. Got a big JFK anniversary piece Im posting which includes a lot of little known factoids about the more peripheral aspects of the assassination.
It’s been 56 years since that day, hardly a seminal anniversary, but does the city still acknowledge November 22nd in any capacity???
Best,
LK
visited many times, I just couldn’t do it. whikevInhs e
.
P
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I’m definitely Southern, both by grace and by birth (and genetics).
As for Dallas vs. Houston vs. Austin … frankly, the older I get, the more weary I grow of urban living in general. I would love to live out away from all the urban blight I am forced to view every day (while still being close enough to avail myself of the entertainment and medical facilities). But I’m right there with you about the age thing. I’m too old (and financially ensconced here) to pull up and move anywhere else.
As for the JFK assassination, Dallas is still greatly ashamed that he was assassinated here. It gets some minor mentions on anniversaries, but otherwise it is never spoken of. The 6th Floor Museum is very well done, but it is not flashy from the outside, and discretely blends in to the surroundings. The museum isn’t even advertised very aggressively by Dallas. I should write a post about that someday. It is arguably the most historical thing that ever happened in Dallas, but you’d never know it if you were here.
I hope you’re enjoying your weekend!
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I’m in bed. Today’s a pain day. I learned some news yesterday about an ex was arrested for homosexual harassment in a very public place (not there’s anything wrong with it) plus a niece in law might have later stage oral cancer and my 89 year old mother is exhibiting more and more frontal lobe dementia. I have MS and stress affects my ability to tolerate bad news or multi task physical or emotional pain. I’m a mess.
Is the Eagle still an FM rock station in Dallas? Did you ever listen to it during your younger days? If so, do you remember the Stevens and Pruett morning show?
M
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I’m so sorry to hear that, Laurie. 😦 I hope things turn around for you soon. Any one of those things would be hard to deal with, let alone all of them at once.
The Eagle is still around, though it is nothing like what I remember it being. When I first moved to Dallas in the mid-80s it was one of the top stations and played what at the time was called Top 40 or mainstream pop. It was one of my go-to stations at the time. I even remember listening to a young Kidd Kraddick when he was first getting started in radio.
But since then, KEGL has undergone a dizzying number of format changes and I tuned out in the late 80s and never went back, but that was as much to do with the fact that I began listening to CDs (and eventually my iPod) more than I listened to the radio.
I definitely remember Stevens and Pruett since they were here during my prime radio-listening years. That was a great era for radio in DFW. Now the dial is littered with unlistenable, forgettable, or downright irritating stations.
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PS. Went to college in Austin. Loved it then. Loathe it now.
I too would like to find my own version of Walton’s mountain, somewhere with real seasons, post armed guards at the entrance and build a huge piranha Filled most around the base.
!
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That sounds like heaven! I want my peace and seclusion, but I also enjoy my creature comforts. 😀
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Egad Biff etc, Miriam also from Down Under, and Ashok too. I’ve joined the flock. Happy families.
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Thank you, Noel! We are indeed one big happy family here.
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Hey Biff, what a great intro page and I’m glad to meet you here, cane via Cyranny’s trustworthy recommendation. Why do I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy your site. I look forward to reading much more. Cheers from down under. 🙂
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Thank you so much, Miriam! And thank you so much for stopping by. I am very pleased to meet you, too! I do hope you’ll come back often and that you always find something to amuse you. And I’ll definitely be visiting your site, too!
Cheers from Dallas!
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Hey Biff, I’ll definitely be back! Great to hear from you and I have no doubt you’ll be able to amuse me. Have a brilliant weekend. 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂 I hope your weekend is awesome, too!
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Thanks! 😊
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Great blog site! Thanks for the follow. Just passed by Houston and missed you by a whisker, I guess.
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Thank you, Ashokbhatia! I’m very glad you like it. And, yes …. Houston is a mere 4 hours away by car. Only an hour by plane. I hope you enjoyed your fly-over Texas. 🙂
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Yes, I did. Allow me to share this: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2018/10/04/a-visit-to-the-nasa-space-centre-in-houston-usa-part-1-of-2
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Thanks! I visited the Houston Space Center many years ago and really enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed walking around the Saturn V rocket they had laying on its side. That thing was massive!
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Yes, indeed! Thank you.
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We’re about the same age and see the world in a similar way. What could possibly go wrong??
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Hiya, Bryan! I see nothing but success and good things down that road!
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Moments before a collision. 😉
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I’ll keep an eye out for bright lights indicating the end of the tunnel is near.
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Yes, you might be right. I suppose we shouldn’t question where we get our unique talents … we should just be thankful for them. Thank you again! 🙂
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lol great intro .. “thus completing my transition to complete invisibility and irrelevancy” touched me … I’m there way ahead of you!
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Thank you, Kate! 🙂 I do actually feel quite invisible most of the time. But I can’t blame that entirely on my age. I was semi-invisible in my youth, too. That’s why shyness and being quiet will get you.
Thanks for stopping by!
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hey maybe that kick started your exceptional talent, but you have buckets of it … keep writing!
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Just a little note to check on you… 4 days without Biff, that’s unusual.
I hope you’re doing well, and are just busy 🙂
*hugs*
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Thanks for checking on me, Cyranny! 🙂 It is not unusual for me to be so sedentary that people check my pulse to make sure I’m okay, but this time I was merely out of town. 🙂 It’s good to be back though!
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My pleasure… I have stalker genes. I hope it won’t get too annoying in the long run 😛
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Not a chance! Who doesn’t like attention?
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Hahahaha yeah… True!
I just want bloggers I really like to know someone noticed, when they are unexpectedly silent… 🙂
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Thank you, Cyranny! I’m very touched that you noticed. I would notice, too, if you had a sudden absence. We can check up on each other (something that’s getting more and more important the older I get).
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🙂 Well I sure will keep an eye on you… Even when I don’t have time to read your posts and leave a mark, I drop by your blog regularly to check that everything looks fine… I’d be flattered to have you watching my back, but don’t feel obliged 😉
I hope your week had a good start 🙂 xx
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Thanks! I need watching. I’m always in danger of just wandering off and forgetting how to get back.
And I’d be happy to watch your back, so not to worry!
Yes, my week is off to a good start even though my short vacation is over and it’s back to the salt mines. I hope yours is going great, too! 🙂
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I got lost once or twice too. The wandering-minds police eventually drove me back home 😛 Thanks in advance for the back watching, hehehe
I am having a couple of days off work.Much needed time spent home doing house chores… Quiet time, that’s always nice.
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I love quiet time more than anything! Sadly, though, I rarely get any of it.
Enjoy your days off!
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Thank you 🙂 Will do!
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Dear Bif.f. B.i.f.f.f.f.f.f.f BIIIFFF biff!
You have deserted your flock for three days now… Three whole days. So, I have taken the liberty of crashing your “About” page. Again.
I must say there was a detail, that eluded me the first time… And if I didn’t have so much affection for you, I think I’d be appalled! So, quoting you;
“I am married with a twenty-something year old daughter, two cats, a mortgage, and something that approximates a career.”
Twenty-something (first of all, I hope you are just hiding her real age here, otherwise, if you really don’t know exactly how old she is, you should quickly investigate and note it somewhere… With her birthday date, and your wedding anniversary date also!) year old daughter?? Please tell me she’s not yours! Well, of course she is, by being your spouse… but please please please, tell me she’s not your daughter! I have a feeling she might be, because otherwise why mention she’s a daughter… Of course she is! If she hadn’t been a daughter, she wouldn’t have existed at all! And how creepy would that have been!!
Also… Are you married to the 2 cats, the mortgage and the career too? Just wondering…
See? That is what happens when you go away too long…
Stalkingly yours,
C. xx
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Howdy! Linda thought I might enjoy your site (and she’s awesome — I always listen to her), so I am stopping by to say hi. I will spend some time this week and comment more in the very near future. Hope you had a great weekend.
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Thanks, James! Your right: she is. I am learning to listen to her, too. Thanks for stopping by and look forward to your comments. I hope your week goes great!
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Hi
Thank you so much for finding my blog and following me. Looking forward to getting to know you
Trina
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My pleasure, Trina! I’m looking forward to it, too. Keep up the great writing!
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“with occasional bursts of jocularity” immediately sent my brain to MASH and Father Mulcahy…………..
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Lol! I was wondering if anyone would get the reference. Thank you!
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So glad I found you Biff! I’m a Fort Worth neighbor! 🙂
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Thank you, Penny! It’s always great to meet a fellow Texan … and a fellow blogger to boot! Now we can complain about the Texas weather together. Lol! Plus, as a fellow Texan, I am honor bound to say, “Howdy, Neighbor!”
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I’m not a native, but appreciate that! Thanks!
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I’m not native either, but it is my adopted home. Like the bumper sticker says, “I got here as fast as I could.”
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
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If your theme supports it. It’s OK if you hate it. And it would not be this pixelated.
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What do you think? You could make it the little icon that shows up in tabs.
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. . . my transition to complete invisibility and irrelevancy. DAMN, Love that sentence. Wished I’d wrote it – it is, of course, swirling in my cranium but you articulated it like a boss.
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Thanks, Wilt! I think it is a feeling that most middle-aged men can identify with. It is that feeling that perhaps is the cause of the proverbial “mid-life crisis” we hear so much about. Everyone wants to feel relevant and that they have a purpose and meaning. But in this crazy, hullaballoo, million-miles-an-hour world we live in, it is getting harder and harder to achieve feelings of relevance. This little blog helps in some small way … and certainly comments such as yours help a lot! Thank you again.
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I hear you (tho not as well as I used to haha). My blog is like my little corner out of the fray of the world’s focus on the young and our accelerated culture (to coin a phrase from Douglas Coupland, who really put Gen Xers on the map). And you are quite welcome. I am Canadian to the core and often find myself thanking people for thanking me!
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I wanted to comment here since I thought I did before, but I see now that I must’ve only clicked “Like.” First of all, I am your age and I refuse to allow you to transition into irrevelency! That might mean I would have to as well. No way!! Invisibility, well that sounds kinda fun. I might join you. 😉 Seriously, anonymity is a wonderful thing. I’ve posted about writing anonymously before. Complete liberation. I adore your blog and I follow very few since I don’t have a lot of free time but yours keeps me highly engaged.
Great crossing paths with you online,
Stephanie
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Thank you, Stephanie! I very much appreciate your compliments and your encouragement. I think your blog is awesome and I hope someday that mine is halfway as good as yours. I’ll just keep plugging along at it and hoping I keep progressing.
(P.S. I thought I responded to your comment once before, but apparently WP ate it, for there’s nothing here now. So I apologize for the extremely late response!)
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Damn fine bio, sir. Short, sweet, and to the point. Glad you found my site so I could find yours.
One thing though: I thought only women acquired the superpower of invisibility in middle age? Dang, yet another thing we have to share with men!
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Thank you very much, C.J.! I’d like to say I kept it short and sweet for artistic or aesthetic reasons … but really there just isn’t much to say about myself. 🙂
Thank you for the follow and the compliments! Remember to use your invisibility superpower only for good.
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