0 – About Biff

 

 

Hi! I am Biff. Welcome to my cluttered little wordsmith’s workshop. It’s not much, but it’s where I come to escape from the world and all of its sound and fury. Here you will find hand-crafted humor and levity (with occasional bursts of jocularity). It may not be professional quality, but it is original and lovingly crafted with affection. Think of me as Geppetto, and of my humble little posts as awkward wooden puppets who hope someday to become quality writing.

I am a man in my mid-50s, thus completing my transition to complete invisibility and irrelevancy. This allows me to move about society unobserved as I observe our modern culture. I live in the world’s most boring suburb of Dallas, Texas. I am married, with a twenty-something year old daughter, two cats, a mortgage, and something that approximates a career. Think of my life as the embodiment of the “quiet desperation” that Thoreau wrote of. Hey, if I can find the humor in that, I can find humor in anything! Thus this blog.

Feel free to visit my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/biff.sockpow

63 comments

  1. So you’re Biff, eh?
    Pleased to meetcha and thanks for dropping by to read some of my own musings.
    Love yer site, buddy. Full of idiosyncratic goings-on. Great stuff.
    (were we separated at birth?)
    Yer Canadian Cuz,
    John Ormsby

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    • Hello, Mr. Ormsby! Yes, by all accounts I am indeed Biff. I’m glad to meet you, too, and so very glad you like my site! I hope you’ll return often and that you can always find something to amuse you. 🙂

      Furthermore, I am always delighted with my Canadian cousins drop by, for I have a deep kindred feeling towards our neighbors to the north. So perhaps it is as you suggest … we were separated at birth.

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  2. Hi Biff..I spent 23 of the longest years of my life in Houston (four hours from you by car/
    one hour by plane). I don’t get a sense that you’re a Texan…..I could be wrong, but maybe Louisiana? Don’t tell me give me more clues. I want to figure this out.

    Greetings from the Texas Hill Country where it’s coooooooooold. Well, at least for this part of the world.

    Best,
    LK

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    • Hi Laurie!

      I’m not Texan by birth, but I’ve been here for well over 30 years, so I’m practically a native. Before that, I was primarily raised in the Deep South (Alabama, Mississippi).

      I’ve only been to Houston a few times (mostly passing through it on the way to somewhere else. My most lasting impressions of it is that it is complete and utter chaos due to its lack of zoning laws. Still, there are very few perfect large cities. Dallas certainly has its warts.

      But Hill Country is different. I have driven through it several times and it is absolutely beautiful. I’d settle down there if it weren’t this pesky “working for a living” thing.

      I hope you’re staying warm! But, if it’s anything like Dallas down there, it’ is already warm again.

      Thanks for dropping by!

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      • I was looking forward to trying to figure out where home was for you. Not a native Texan? No biggie. You’re still a son of the south. And that’s okay with me.

        It gets chilly in the hills, especially at night, but probably close to to 70. You could wear a sweat shirt and not produce enough sweat or BO to be used as a WMD. Thanks to no humidity.

        Houston is a hellish reality, but I liked it better than Dallas. I had options in my career to go to Dallas and while I have tons of family up there and Ive visited many times, I just couldn’t do it.

        I live not far from Boerne now which isn’t that far from San Antonio, which I like even even less than Dallas, and would you believe Boerne has no zoning either? It’s coconuts! Plus “white flight” out of SA and Houston has all but destroyed Boerne’s charm. It’s crowded, people are rude and taxes are insane.

        I’d move again, but at 60, It’s easier just to write a damn check ,

        Come by Saturday. Got a big JFK anniversary piece Im posting which includes a lot of little known factoids about the more peripheral aspects of the assassination.

        It’s been 56 years since that day, hardly a seminal anniversary, but does the city still acknowledge November 22nd in any capacity???

        Best,
        LK

        visited many times, I just couldn’t do it. whikevInhs e

        .

        P

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        • I’m definitely Southern, both by grace and by birth (and genetics).

          As for Dallas vs. Houston vs. Austin … frankly, the older I get, the more weary I grow of urban living in general. I would love to live out away from all the urban blight I am forced to view every day (while still being close enough to avail myself of the entertainment and medical facilities). But I’m right there with you about the age thing. I’m too old (and financially ensconced here) to pull up and move anywhere else.

          As for the JFK assassination, Dallas is still greatly ashamed that he was assassinated here. It gets some minor mentions on anniversaries, but otherwise it is never spoken of. The 6th Floor Museum is very well done, but it is not flashy from the outside, and discretely blends in to the surroundings. The museum isn’t even advertised very aggressively by Dallas. I should write a post about that someday. It is arguably the most historical thing that ever happened in Dallas, but you’d never know it if you were here.

          I hope you’re enjoying your weekend!

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          • I’m in bed. Today’s a pain day. I learned some news yesterday about an ex was arrested for homosexual harassment in a very public place (not there’s anything wrong with it) plus a niece in law might have later stage oral cancer and my 89 year old mother is exhibiting more and more frontal lobe dementia. I have MS and stress affects my ability to tolerate bad news or multi task physical or emotional pain. I’m a mess.

            Is the Eagle still an FM rock station in Dallas? Did you ever listen to it during your younger days? If so, do you remember the Stevens and Pruett morning show?

            M

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            • I’m so sorry to hear that, Laurie. 😦 I hope things turn around for you soon. Any one of those things would be hard to deal with, let alone all of them at once.

              The Eagle is still around, though it is nothing like what I remember it being. When I first moved to Dallas in the mid-80s it was one of the top stations and played what at the time was called Top 40 or mainstream pop. It was one of my go-to stations at the time. I even remember listening to a young Kidd Kraddick when he was first getting started in radio.

              But since then, KEGL has undergone a dizzying number of format changes and I tuned out in the late 80s and never went back, but that was as much to do with the fact that I began listening to CDs (and eventually my iPod) more than I listened to the radio.

              I definitely remember Stevens and Pruett since they were here during my prime radio-listening years. That was a great era for radio in DFW. Now the dial is littered with unlistenable, forgettable, or downright irritating stations.

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          • PS. Went to college in Austin. Loved it then. Loathe it now.

            I too would like to find my own version of Walton’s mountain, somewhere with real seasons, post armed guards at the entrance and build a huge piranha Filled most around the base.

            !

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  4. Hey Biff, what a great intro page and I’m glad to meet you here, cane via Cyranny’s trustworthy recommendation. Why do I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy your site. I look forward to reading much more. Cheers from down under. 🙂

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  10. Dear Bif.f. B.i.f.f.f.f.f.f.f BIIIFFF biff!

    You have deserted your flock for three days now… Three whole days. So, I have taken the liberty of crashing your “About” page. Again.

    I must say there was a detail, that eluded me the first time… And if I didn’t have so much affection for you, I think I’d be appalled! So, quoting you;

    “I am married with a twenty-something year old daughter, two cats, a mortgage, and something that approximates a career.”

    Twenty-something (first of all, I hope you are just hiding her real age here, otherwise, if you really don’t know exactly how old she is, you should quickly investigate and note it somewhere… With her birthday date, and your wedding anniversary date also!) year old daughter?? Please tell me she’s not yours! Well, of course she is, by being your spouse… but please please please, tell me she’s not your daughter! I have a feeling she might be, because otherwise why mention she’s a daughter… Of course she is! If she hadn’t been a daughter, she wouldn’t have existed at all! And how creepy would that have been!!

    Also… Are you married to the 2 cats, the mortgage and the career too? Just wondering…

    See? That is what happens when you go away too long…

    Stalkingly yours,

    C. xx

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    • Thanks, Wilt! I think it is a feeling that most middle-aged men can identify with. It is that feeling that perhaps is the cause of the proverbial “mid-life crisis” we hear so much about. Everyone wants to feel relevant and that they have a purpose and meaning. But in this crazy, hullaballoo, million-miles-an-hour world we live in, it is getting harder and harder to achieve feelings of relevance. This little blog helps in some small way … and certainly comments such as yours help a lot! Thank you again.

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      • I hear you (tho not as well as I used to haha). My blog is like my little corner out of the fray of the world’s focus on the young and our accelerated culture (to coin a phrase from Douglas Coupland, who really put Gen Xers on the map). And you are quite welcome. I am Canadian to the core and often find myself thanking people for thanking me!

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  18. I wanted to comment here since I thought I did before, but I see now that I must’ve only clicked “Like.” First of all, I am your age and I refuse to allow you to transition into irrevelency! That might mean I would have to as well. No way!! Invisibility, well that sounds kinda fun. I might join you. 😉 Seriously, anonymity is a wonderful thing. I’ve posted about writing anonymously before. Complete liberation. I adore your blog and I follow very few since I don’t have a lot of free time but yours keeps me highly engaged.

    Great crossing paths with you online,
    Stephanie

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    • Thank you, Stephanie! I very much appreciate your compliments and your encouragement. I think your blog is awesome and I hope someday that mine is halfway as good as yours. I’ll just keep plugging along at it and hoping I keep progressing.

      (P.S. I thought I responded to your comment once before, but apparently WP ate it, for there’s nothing here now. So I apologize for the extremely late response!)

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  19. Damn fine bio, sir. Short, sweet, and to the point. Glad you found my site so I could find yours.
    One thing though: I thought only women acquired the superpower of invisibility in middle age? Dang, yet another thing we have to share with men!

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    • Thank you very much, C.J.! I’d like to say I kept it short and sweet for artistic or aesthetic reasons … but really there just isn’t much to say about myself. 🙂

      Thank you for the follow and the compliments! Remember to use your invisibility superpower only for good.

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