A Pocket Full of Why

I’m not sure what to write about, so I’ll just start writing in the hopes that something comes to me, even though my past experiments with this form of writing all ended abysmally. 

Fortunately, I’m not one to learn from my mistakes. 

What is the fun in that?  If we take every failure to heart and swear to never do that particular thing again, we will eventually run out of things to do and then where will we be?  We would all find ourselves just staring at each other with our hands in our pockets and saying endlessly, “Well, now what?

I am pretty sure that is why pockets were invented in the first place.  Many people think that pockets were invented so that we could carry things around with us, like money or a pocket knife or a live ermine. 

But those people are wrong.

Pockets were invented to give us somewhere to put our hands when we are in the awkward position of having to make small talk.  This is important, because if we did not have pockets to put our hands in, we would all be making random hand gestures and flailing our arms apropos of nothing as our social panic and our blather increased exponentially.  Eventually our hand and arm motions become so out of control that we actually begin to lift off the floor and we fly erratically towards a window like a moth that has half of one wing singed off by an incandescent bulb he got too close to.

Whenever I am forced to make small talk, I immediately begin plotting my escape.  My mouth may be talking about how the GATT rate affects honey production by bees north of the 37th parallel in years evenly divisible by seven, but my brain is thinking, “If I were to jump out that window right there, I wonder what the odds are that I would land on a passing dump truck full of unginned cotton?”

But the real take-away from that story is that my idea of small talk involves GATT rates.  And I don’t even know what that is.  Apparently, it is something that grownups in office buildings talk about in between bouts of considering jumping out a window.

But the real takeaway from this blog post, even more important than the one involving scanning the roadways down below for trucks laden with unginned cotton, is that my original assertion was correct:

It is a bad idea for me to just start writing when I have nothing to write about.

I think we can all agree on THAT!

And you can put that in your pocket.

 


And speaking of a view from above, here’s “A View From Above”, by John Jarvis.  One of my favorite pieces ever.

16 comments

  1. One of my favourite sayings: If you’re a woman and you’re wearing a dress with pockets and someone compliments you on it, if you don’t immediately say, “Thanks, it has pockets” and then swirl around with your hands in them, you’re some kind of spy.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you for the inside information! That is exactly what I needed to help me infiltrate the ranks. So if you see a tall women in a dress with pockets and hairy legs, think nothing of it. Finally! After all these years, I may finally get to understand women! (Why are you laughing?)

      Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. And learning to realize that failing is a part of life is a difficult lesson to learn. What’s more, failing is a part of succeeding. That is also hard for us to understand sometimes.

      Don’t worry about never having heard of GATT. I don’t know much about it. I just hear people at work who are close to retirement talking about it. So, apparently it is something for people much better off than me. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The secret of your great talent lies in your ability to write fantastically amusingly about absolutely anything. I continue to be blown away by the ease with which you are able to fashion a brilliant piece virtually out of nothing. If that is not a stellar talent, I don’t know what is!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Anna! I rarely blush, but your comments always make me feel as if I am … or should. As you know, as writers, the first thing that pops into our mind when someone compliments us on our work is to say, “What? This old thing?” I do try to be gracious when someone compliments me, but honestly, I don’t feel I deserve your high praise. Still, I am very grateful to you for saying it, and I shall certainly strive to be the kind of writer that is deserving of your compliments. Thank you so much!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Hi, Romika! Thank you! And I quite agree. There is something magical about sitting down in front of a blank piece of paper (or screen) and then the fingers start typing and the next thing you know, there are words on the paper that were not there before. THAT is the feeling that keeps me writing.

      Thanks for stopping by! And thank you for commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

    • HI Janet! I know what you mean. The first time I heard that piece was about 30-ish years ago when I was driving in my car and it came on the radio. as soon as they announced what it was at the end of the song, I was off to the music store to buy the CD. “A View From Above” is one of the songs I put on when I’m feeling a bit down or need a little inspiration. As you say, it makes me feels as if I am floating.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m one of the few why knows what GATT is. I’m surprised it isn’t better known there, given that it is an election year and it would be something else for Donald Trump to promise an American withdrawal. Mind you, he probably doesn’t know what GATT is either. They don’t talk about GATT at the Babylon Bee.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi, Lorne! To be honest, I don’t know what GATT is either, other than hearing people approaching retirement talking about it. But as I am a long way from retirement, I don’t really pay attention to what they’re talking about. My retirement plan consists of a refrigerator box and an overpass.

      Like

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