Working for the Weekend (and Beyond)

Busy Office Worker

Another week has passed by entirely too quickly and, much like someone who was run over by a train as they walked along the tracks, I cannot help but feel that I could have outrun the train if I’d just paid a little more attention to those inspirational posters in the break room and ran a little faster .

But such thinking is silly.

Running is a fool’s game.  Nothing good has ever come from running.

Believe me … I have tried it, and all I had to show for it afterwards was dizziness, seeing auras, a janky knee, and a last-place trophy (which I believe are called participant trophies nowadays).  But when I was in grade school, they were not embarrassed in the least in handing out last- place trophies, followed by a team-building exercise called, “Let’s ridicule the un-athletic kid“.

Ahh, such fond memories.

As I mentioned way back at the beginning of this blog post, the week went by quickly.

That was mostly because I was working like crazy on a hot project at work.  I was assigned to work on one of those projects that everyone hopes they don’t get picked to work on.  If I could again compare it to something in grade school, it is like being picked as the virgin that’s going to be thrown into the volcano.

Wait.

I may need to return that metaphor to the store.  It appears to be defective.

But the volcano part was pretty accurate.

Anyway, I have been working a depressing amount of hours trying to wrest something that looks like success from this rolling dumpster fire of a project.  “Success” in this case I have defined as … striking a ledge on the way down into the volcano and so being knocked unconscious before falling into the molten lava down below.

So yes … long hours, lots of stress, lots of VIPs calling hourly for status updates (which consist entirely of me saying, “I just spent the last hour writing up the status that you requested an hour ago.  But let me get started on the latest status report for you.“)

So, as a public service, let me give you a list of words and phrases that should cause you to turn and run as quickly as possible in the opposite direction.  Avoid running on railroad tracks if at all possible.

Corporate Phrases 001

I hope this helps.  If not, I hope we can leverage our sub-optimal results-based metrics into opportunistic synergies and success-oriented strategies.

You’re welcome.

 

 

 

8 comments

  1. My supervisor just makes me feel guilty by saying, “Your skill set makes this a good project for you.” How do you say no when someone uses kind of a compliment to add to your workload?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hadn’t thought about that, but you’re right! Resumes are, after all, masterpieces of obfuscation and prevarication. How many times have I thought, “Oh, if only I were as good as my resume makes me out to be!”

      Like

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