Biff Rambles On About … Deleterious Dilatoriness, the Blog Days of Summer, and a Precipitous Awakening

Biff Hiking #4

Hello, dear reader!

It’s been a long time since I’ve written one of these rambling posts, so I figured what better time to write one than a mere three or four weeks after when I should have done it in the first place?

Procrastination is a funny thing. One minute you’re procrastinating, and the next minute you’re still procrastinating, but with a sense of guilt. Eventually you’ll stop procrastinating, but by then it will be too late.

So, the time to procrastinate is now. Don’t put it off for a rainy day. You may never get another opportunity like this to let opportunity pass you by!

There’s a lesson in there somewhere, but frankly I’m tired, so I’ll try to figure out what it is tomorrow.

So for now, let’s try to get this creaking, rickety old blog post off of the ground, shall we? It’s been sitting in the garage of my mind for so long that I’m not sure it’s really airworthy, but that has never stopped me before, and it won’t stop me now.

That is what duct tape, baling wire, Bondo® and AD&D insurance is for.

Slump Dog Minion Heir

It has been a crazy week here in the Biff household.

No, not really.

I’m just trying to jazz up this post a little bit so you won’t drift off and start reading blogs written by more interesting people than me. And frankly, that’s just about any blog out there. Including the ones with tips for monetizing your blog.

How about blogs with pointers on how to monetize your dog?

Especially if your dog is a pointer.

Wouldn’t that be something? Your dog having more affiliates that you? Your dog getting more likes and reposts and Liebster Awards than you? Your dog getting advertising. A following. Being interviewed by other bloggers. A book deal. Talk show gigs.

I find it all too depressing to think about.

Plus, I don’t have a dog. Soooo ….

The Short Rain of Biff in the Berth

I awoke this morning to a strange sound.

In my sleep-addled brain I thought that my life had drifted off-channel and what I was hearing was the static that normally accompanies a television that has lost both horizontal and vertical sync or any other kind of sync (including the kitchen sync).

But then I realized that — duh! — modern televisions don’t have snow and static. Instead, they have a blue screen and complete silence. It’s not much to look at, but it still has more engaging plots than reruns of “The Office” and “That 70s Show”.

No, what I was hearing was rain upon the roof.

I can be forgiven for not recognizing the sound when I heard it. After all, it seems likes months since we’ve had any significant rain here in Dallas. It’s been so hot lately that precipitation only falls in the form of high humidity and off-the-charts allergens.

Anyway, I was so shocked to hear the sound of rain that I did not hear my alarm go off and so was late for work.

But it is okay. Any day in August that it rains in Texas is considered a state-wide holiday.

The Dismount

Well, that’s about all I can come up with to write about.

You should all take comfort in the fact that the life of Biff does not change measurably from day to day.

I am sort of the Greenwich Mean Time of boredom and monotony.

And while it’s true that you can’t set your watch’s time by me, you can sit and watch time go by me, and that is almost as good.

In fact, you’ll want to come back for seconds.

Or possibly minutes.

But hours are not to question why.


  1. I think I suffer a bit regarding the dog thing. The posts about my Great Dane Walter get many more likes than my Walter-less stuff ever does. Still, I carry on and pop a random dog pic in every once in a while to keep my followers on their toes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well I definitely appreciate the rain! I’ll return the favor someday when you find yourself in need of some excessively hot, humid days.

      I love the idea of blogs having snowy static when you’ve drifted off. Surely there’s a widget or a plug-in for that.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The set-up for that last pun was great — especially since I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t see our rain coming, either, but we’ve had three inches in the past days. It’s still hotter than blue blazes, and the humidity cranked it up a notch, but at least we’ve got more green, and the hurricane’s not coming here.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Linda! I was born with a brain that puns naturally. I haven’t figure out yet if that is a blessing or a curse. It certainly makes everyone around me groan a lot.

      And yes, that is the irony and the danger of rain in the summer time. We need it so desperately … and yet it turns the atmosphere into a swampy sauna that makes breathing a chore. But at least the foliage is pretty. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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