It seems ages since I’ve written anything in this blog of mine.
Actually, it’s been ages since I’ve written anything in general.
I have several really good excuses for this. Would you like to hear them?
(Roll the tape!)
1. It is too hot to write.
Today it was 102 degrees F (38.8 C) and the weather chaps said it felt like 118 (47.7 C). And who would know better than them? After all, they get paid big bucks to tell us how miserable we are.
Anyway, it is very hard to get into the mood to write when all I can think about is cooling off. And the typos are too plentiful when my fingers are sticking to the keyboard, both because my fingers are sweaty and because the keys may be starting to melt a little.
This is a far cry from the fantasy I have always entertained in my head about writing on an old Underwood typewriter in front of a roaring fire, a snoring dog, and a frosted-over window pane.
2. I don’t feel like writing.
I often sit down at the keyboard, my fingers poised over the keyboard, ready to start typing away.
And yet, nothing comes out.
I just don’t feel like writing. I feel like doing anything BUT writing. I feel like watching YouTube videos. I feel like reading a book. I feel like cleaning out the junk drawer in the kitchen (a sure sign that I am losing my mind!).
When I am in these moods, ANYTHING can distract me.
To give you an idea of how bad it is, tonight I chose to fix the light fixture in the closet rather than sit down and write.
That, and I am tired of getting dressed in the dark. It is not nearly as exciting as they make it sound in those torrid movies and books.
3. I have nothing to write about.
I am an engineer.
No, I take that back. I’m not even an engineer. I’m an engineering manager.
As such, it is my fate to work in a bland, colorless box all day long, doing things that no one cares about 5 minutes after I do them. The half-life of the usefulness of the work I produce is measured in minutes. Yes, it is essential … but it is not very interesting.
And after I do that all day long, I come home and do such exciting things as take out the trash, put the trash bin back where it is supposed to be (because the “rubbish collection engineers” drug my bin down the alley and deposited it three or four houses down), fix closet lights, and blot cat barf out of the carpet. I then put on my pajamas and go to bed where I dream of being in a colorless box that is slowly filling up with oatmeal while I fill out an endless stream of TPS reports.
You can see why the ol’ creative juices may not be flowing like wine in the Biff brain.
4. Did I mention it felt like 118 degrees today?
Well, it did. YOU try to write something when there is sweat in your eyes and your only preoccupation is counting down the days until October, when the temperature will drop below 90 for the first time since March 27.
5. Shaun the Sheep videos are far more addictive than one would think.
I have nothing more to say about this. It’s best we just move along.
6. Effective lists should have six items in them.
Studies have proven this.
Or, if not, they should have.
Well there you have it.
Now, aren’t you glad that I haven’t written more?