Biff’s Weekend — Executive Summary


It has been a very nice weekend here in Biffville (population:  sweaty).

The temperature was quite a bit lower than is usual for this time of year.  It hovered in the low 90s (34 C), whereas is is usually up around 100 (38 C).  However, in order to maintain balance, Mother Nature cranked up the humidity to make sure we were not unduly inconvenienced by the milder temperatures.  For example, at the moment is is only 95 degrees (35 C), but the humidity is 50%, so the heat index makes it feel like it is 107 ( 41.6 C).  This is just a little service Mother Nature provides to keep us from getting too soft and complacent.

Heat I can bear.  However, this morning I walked from my back door out to the back alley and back to put some trash in the container , which is a round-trip of about 30 or 40 yards.  By the time I got back inside, my clothes were so wet and heavy, and my skin glistening with sweat, that I thought I was going to have to take another shower.

And good hair day?  Forget about it!   Not gonna happen.  My hair goes berserk in this humidity.  Half of it lays down flat like wheat in the field after a hailstorm, and the other half  stands straight up and at all angles.  I end up looking like a clown who couldn’t decide if he wanted to be a happy clown or  a sad clown, so decided to sniff airplane glue instead.

Both Saturday and Sunday started off with light rain, so the yard both days was too wet to mow.  I was, of course, devastated.  Those of you who read my blog often know that one of my greatest enjoyments in life is getting outside in high heat and humidity and pushing a 50 pound lawn mower back and forth for two hours while fighting off mosquitoes and wasps and talkative neighbors.

Here is the executive summary of the past 48 hours of my weekend.

Weekend Pie Chart 2019-08-04 v2

Sad, isn’t it?

Obviously, if I gave up sleeping at night, I’d have a lot more time to do things I don’t enjoy doing.


  1. I don’t know where you live. I was thinking the Amazon until I saw you only spend 2% on yard work. Also I don’t mean to be critical, but you didn’t include the percentage of time you spend on pie chart generation.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. According to that graph, you did not give it 110%, which is the gold standard in these times of social media perfection. Your description certainly makes me appreciate the cooler climes of Vancouver – replete with beaches, but high coliform counts negating any swimming unless you don a Hazmat suit!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was GOING to give 110%, but I found a coupon in my wallet for 11% off of daily activities. Since it was about to expire, I used it.

      I would love to experience the cooler climes of Vancouver … or anywhere in Canada. I’m sorry to hear about the coliform, though. Perhaps we can have an exchange. You send us some of your coliform, and we’ll send you some of our flesh eating bacteria. There’s nothing like a little free trade to help bring us all closer together (most likely in the emergency room).

      Enjoy your week!


  3. “I end up looking like a clown who couldn’t decide if he wanted to be a happy clown or a sad clown, so decided to sniff airplane glue instead.” What an incredible word picture you’ve painted. Now there’s a clown I don’t think I’d be afraid of.

    Though we get humid days in Erie, it’s nothing like what you deal with. But those are the days I just want to nap. Or I should say that I nap whether I want to or not. Humidity just wipes me out. And there’s not much worse than the feeling of not being able to dry off. Ugh.

    Stay cool, Biff!

    Liked by 1 person

    • So glad you enjoyed my little word picture, Lynda! It’s not so fun when it’s happening, but it can be very humorous in retrospect. But then again, most things are.

      I would SO love to take a nap when it gets hot and humid. That is what our bodies tell us to do as a protective mechanism. However, my boss frowns upon that while I’m at work. I’m not sure if he takes exception to the nap itself, or to me sprawling out on my desk with a blanket, box fan, and my Perry the Platypus plushie.

      Enjoy your naps! I shall be jealous.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m pretty sure your boss is just jealous of the plushie. Maybe if you find one for him, he’ll be more receptive to the whole idea. He’ll have to use his own desk, though. Keep me posted!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Hmmm … that’s a good idea! I could get him a plushie stuffed with catnip or something. Or something that induces sleep.

          But, yes, you’re right. He’d have to use his own desk. My desk isn’t large enough to sleep on without spooning, which is against our corporate policy.

          Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Jerry!

      I could probably write a lot more blog posts if I did not have to waste so much time keeping my house from going to wrack and ruin … or going to work … or sleeping.

      Oh well … I am comforted by the fact that somewhere, in one of the infinite parallel universes, one of me is a famous writer and can spend his days writing and being lazy.

      Enjoy your week!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hiya, Christine! I’ve been working on reducing my sleeping. However, when the temperatures hit triple digits, our bodies and our minds begin to shut down and sleeping is our only antidote.

      Now if I could just figure out how to immerse myself in cool water as I’m sleeping, I could kill two birds with one stone … or possibly just myself. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

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