Today was a wonderful day here in Biffville (population: content).
For one thing, it was Friday, and what’s not to like about that?
And secondly, even though I still had to go to work, it was virtually deserted there, so it felt sort of like a holiday. Work is much more pleasant when no one is there. I can actually get things done.
However, under those circumstances, I’m not really sure who I’m doing it for.
I feel like a tree falling in a forest. If there’s no one there to watch me work, are any PowerPoints actually created?
And thirdly, and best of all, I got to spend some time with my daughter today. That always makes for a perfect day.
Old Light Through New Windows
Earlier this week I had a chap come out and measure all the windows in my house so he could write up a quote for replacing them all.
I am taking this foolhardy action because every window in the house has lost their collective seals, thus releasing their argon back into the wild where it can roam free and live a more natural life. For argon, it is a noble pursuit.
For the rest of us, argon is a noble gas.
When I was growing up, I never heard of anyone replacing the windows in their house unless someone threw a baseball through it, or maybe a brick with a note tied around it. The windows lasted as long as the house did. There are houses built in the 1700s with their original windows in them.
However, the builders of modern houses … or more accurately, the manufacturers of modern windows … decided that that system simply would not do. Some genius in the window department came up with the idea of windows that would need to be replaced every 20 years or so.
It was a revolution in Windows technology (sort of the opposite of Windows Vista).
“Just imagine!” said the wide-eyed and enthusiastic young window designer as he took the podium to accept his Nobel Prize in Ignoble Marketing Ploys, “Windows! That need to be completely replaced every 20 years or so!”
Amid the thunderous applause that shook the rafters and cheap seats of the Stockholm Concert Hall, a certain P.T. Barnum was overheard to say, “Dammit! Why didn’t I think of that instead of that cockamamie circus idea? Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
The thing about replacing the windows in one’s house, is that the price tag can easily begin to approach the cost of a new house.
Many a man has been overheard saying,
“Pack your stuff, Martha. It’s time to replace the windows in the house, so we’re moving.”
“Wherever shall we go?” asks the overwrought Martha as she wrings her hands.
George stares grittily off into the distance, “We shall go where a man can be a man, and where windows never need to be replaced.”
“Oh God!” wails Martha, now distraught as well as overwrought. “You’re not going back to Linux, are you?”
Anyway, I have not received the quote back yet. So if you see a post from me in the next few days stating that I am moving, you’ll know that I finally got to see the quote.
Reading is Fund-duh-mental
I had an opportunity to go to Barnes & Noble tonight, so I took it.
Those of you who know me, know that B&N is like my own personal opium den. I am often seen going in, but rarely seen coming out. They generally have to throw me bodily from the store. They sometimes set me out by the dumpster along with last month’s unsold magazines, the books from the “last chance!” cart whose idle threat did not entice anyone to buy them, and the giant stacks of “Cooking With Hagfish” cookbooks.
But tonight I did not buy anything. (Yes, yes, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.)
All I want to know is … when did magazines start costing as much as a hardback book? I picked up several magazines that interested me and would have been glad to pay the reasonable price of, say, $6.99 or so.
It was not my intent to buy stock in the publishing company, only to buy a little piece of fluff to wile away an idle hour or so before tossing it into the recycling bin. But if I were to pay $25 for a magazine, that would put it squarely into the “family heirloom” category. I would have to keep it in the safety deposit box and would even have to throw away all of that useless Enron stock to make room for it.
Oh well … it was still fun browsing around B&N.
At least Archie Comics are still reasonably priced, as long as you don’t want the jumbo or the double digest editions.
Well, that’s all the news that’s fit to print.
Tune in tomorrow when you will hear Biff say, “Au contraire, mon frère. I am on Team Betty. Veronica is much too high-maintenance.”