I have spent all day today thinking it was Monday due to the fact that I was off of work yesterday.
This caused me to be chronically late for meetings today.
Things I thought I had another day to work on were actually due today.
I ate my Monday snack on the wrong day.
The routine things I normally do on Mondays were now quickly slipping into my Prodigious Pile of Perpetual Procrastination. Or, as I call it, my P-quad, for the pile is now as big as a whale.
Some of you may be asking why I was not at work yesterday.
Of course, I flatter myself to think that you might actually be asking that. I’m not even asking it, so why would I expect others to be asking it?
But, let’s say that, hypothetically, just for the sake of argument, that you are indeed asking why I was not at work yesterday.
I think the question we should be asking is: what is the nature of work?
Is it an existentialist or an essentialist construct? If it is either, or neither, then why, after all these years of philosophical navel-contemplation, am I still forced to work for a living? I never put “work” on my skills assessment, and yet, people keep giving me more of it. It is plain to the naked eye (or the naked observer) that I was not cut out for a life of toil. I am ill equipped and poorly disposed for it.
But that makes me equal to every other person who has ever existed, and if that is not an example of circular logic, then I don’t know what is. And neither do I.
But the real reason I was not at work yesterday (or Friday, for that matter) is because I was in Alabama.
What, you may be asking, was I doing in Alabama?
You sure ask a lot of questions for a casual reader. You probably haven’t even followed my blog, and yet, here you are giving me the third degree. (The first two degrees I passed with flying colors, which were mostly gray and taupe.)
But since you asked, I’ll come clean.
I did what anyone does when they visit Alabama. I visited relatives. And, since everyone in Alabama is related one way or another, I could quite easily have justified visiting everyone in the state. However, I only had 4 days, so I had to really be selective about who I visited.
So, I visited the ones that “23 and Me” said might possibly owe me money. How they can determine that from a simple swab of the inside of my cheek, I have no idea. But the fact remains that I owe “23 and Me” a hundred bucks.
At one point I visited a family reunion, and I’m reasonably certain that it was a family that I am related to in one way or another. This particular family was related to me by a common love of sweet potato casserole, banana pudding, and sweet iced tea.
You may be asking yourself (again with all the questions!) if I had a good time while I was there.
The short answer is, “Yes.”
The long answer is still “yes”, but with a much more pronounced Southern drawl.
Perhaps if I can convince myself to stop being so lazy, I will post a picture or two from my trip back to Alabama.
But if I were you, I wouldn’t hold my breath. (Studies have shown it to lead to respiratory problems.)