Weekend Recap — With Your Host, Biff Biffington

Anchorman #2

Lost:  One weekend.  Hardly used.  Last seen Friday night.  If found, return to owner.  No reward.

First, the Weather

It was a very strange weekend here in Dallas, weather-wise.  Normally this time of year we are enjoying temperatures in the 80s (~ 28 C), blue, sunny skies, and overall a very spring-like atmosphere.

This weekend, however, it was a very chilly 50 degrees (10 C) with a very stout and sustained wind out of the north at about 20 MPH (~32 kmh).  At night, it actually dipped down to near freezing.

No one here is used to this sort of weather this late in the season.

On the other hand, since no one here ever looks forward to the hell-like beat-down that is summer, we were quite happy for the opportunity to put on jackets and gloves for a little bit longer.

Art: Frozen, With a Twist

We were all so caught-off-guard by the weather, that we naively took in an outdoor art fair in Frisco on Saturday morning.

As mentioned above, it was quite cold out there and very windy.  It inspired fair-goers to practically sprint through the exhibit.  People were buying art just to wrap themselves in.  People were also setting fire to art, but not for the usual reasons.  It was just to gather ’round it and to try and feel warm again, even if it was just for a few minutes.

But all in all it was a wonderful event.  I wish the weather had cooperated more.  I would have liked to have spent a more leisurely time there.  Perhaps next year.

The Hair Apparent

Saturday was also haircut day.

My hair doesn’t grow particularly fast (or maybe it does … it’s hard to tell), but it grows wild, and so I have to cut it frequently just to let it know who’s boss.

If I let it go more than about two weeks, it begins to develop all sorts of cowlicks, waves, dips, shocks, protuberances, and outcroppings.  I begin to look like a hippie from the 1960s just recently back from a particularly bad LSD trip.

But, at my age, I am just thrilled beyond words to still have hair, and so I don’t complain too loudly.

I may never have cool or stylish hair, but I never have, so I have no idea what I’m missing.

Much Nothing About Ado

It was my goal to spend as much of this weekend doing absolutely nothing as humanly possible.

But Life, in her never ending quest to thwart my every plan, set about to keep me busy in the most mundane and mind-numbingly boring ways.

And in that fashion, and entire weekend went by with nothing of any real import being accomplished.  Oh, sure, I got to have a spiffy haircut and to take in an art exhibit at a full sprint, but the rest of the weekend was spent on activities that, if they were told to Adam and Eve and told that their future generations would spend their time doing such things, would have looked at each other and agreed that perhaps they should not have children after all.

Apparently no good would come of it.

And as if to prove that point, get a load of this next story …

Squirrel Wars

Speaking of unfulfilling activities,  I had to repair both of my bird feeders this morning.  Both repairs were necessitated by a roving gang of squirrels that are never up to any good.  If they are not chewing their way into attics, they are cutting the cables to bird feeders to let them fall to the ground and spill their contents.

So, I rehung both bird feeders, fashioning new cables from wire coat hangers.  They may eventually be able to chew through these as well, but they will require dentures afterwards.

I may have won this round, but I know the squirrels will be back and will be stronger than ever (and with amazing-looking dental implants).

Our Top Story (Sadly)

I recently posted, not one, but two Alistair and Alexis stories, not to rave reviews, but to near deafening silence.

If they had been a Broadway play, they would have closed by intermission.

I will grant you that they were not my best work.  Not even close.

But neither were they Surströmming.

But come to think of it:  Surströmming almost always elicits a very strong reaction from people.

Okay … bad example.

However, like an unopened can of Surströmming, I think I shall put A&A up on a shelf for a while with a sticky note that reads, “Do not open in confined areas.”

In Conclusion

The weekend was very short.

Art is a dish best served warm.

Surströmming is a dish best not served at all.

Squirrels with dental implants are funny.

Some writing is nearly as good as fermented fish.

I need to start buying lottery tickets.




  1. I love your A&A stories Biff. I’ve read every one of them. Please don’t stop writing them. I don’t know why our fiction gets less traffic but it happens to me also. But I’d like to think that someone enjoys them

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Billy! Your encouragement definitely helps me when I sit down and open up that blank Word file and type “Alistair and Alexis” at the top of the page. Without your encouragement and that of a few others, I probably would have stopped writing them a year or so ago.

      So, thank you again!

      Liked by 1 person

        • Thank you, Billy! Not just for this comment, but for all the encouragement you’ve given me ever since I launched the A&A series.

          As for the dialog … it was Wodehouse who set the bar too high. He is my inspiration and my mentor.


  2. Alistair and Alexis are very dear to me. If you’ve had two of them out this past week, I have missed one of them. I read the Emerald one last night. What else have I missed? Granted, my inbox has been a bit full the last few days.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I really enjoy the A&A stories! However, when I see them in my inbox, I have to save them for a moment when I have the time to read a longer post. Thus, they end up sitting sometimes for days or a couple weeks before I get to them. I’m sorry you’re not feeling the love!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Lynda! I love that you enjoy them so much. And I understand about having to wait to read them. They are rather long.

      And please ignore my whining in this post. I was just feeling sorry for myself. I enjoy writing them and I hope they make people smile. It’s not about the numbers. I am just as appreciative whether one person reads them, or a dozen.

      Thank you again!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I was going to comment here about the lack of response to your A & A stories, but decided against it. I think you have already figured it out.

    Alex and Alexis must be thanful that you at least love them – even if no-one else does.

    Liked by 1 person

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