Whispers and Promises

St. Kevin Status 001a

It is a lazy Saturday afternoon.

It has been a good weekend so far, but a rough month.  Losing people you love is tough.

I have always had to actively and deliberately overcome my hermit tendencies, even under normal circumstances.  If I had my druthers, I’d probably be content to never leave my office, and certainly not my house.  I think I may share some DNA with Nero Wolfe.  Or Saint Kevin of Glendalough.

Fortunately, we are fitted with a safety interlock device to keep this from happening to an extreme.  It is called cabin fever.

Even though I would rather be at home and cocooned in my office more than anything, I find that after a few days I feel an irresistible urge to get out and go somewhere.  It doesn’t matter where.  The grocery store.  A coffee shop.  Even just a walk around the block.

But even on those modest excursions, I do not like to go where there are lots of people.  A few people are okay, but above a very small handful of people, I find myself wanting to return to my cocoon.

This past two weeks I have especially wanted to withdraw into my cave.  I would have allowed a bird to build a nest upon my outstretched hand and watched as its eggs hatched and the newborn birds fledged and flew away.

But God keeps drawing me out of my cocoon.

He surrounds me with just enough people to let me know we are not designed to be alone, but not so many as to overwhelm me and make me want to withdraw again.

And today the sun is out.  Birds are on the wing.  Flowers are blooming.  Trees are budding.  The sky is that very unique shade of springtime blue that lets us know everything is okay.

Winter is over.

For a while longer, at least.

 

 

 

20 comments

  1. I’m like that to an extent. I wasn’t always. I need to get out once in a while but I enjoy my own company. I hate crowds, will not go to a concert. I have downsized my life in many ways

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  2. Times like these are melancholy to be sure, but there’s nothing like getting out the door to get you out of that shell. I’m sure you’re Dad wouldn’t want you to turn into St. Biff of the Lone Star, with a keyboard grafted to your hand, allowing no movement beyond typing the occasional flight of fancy. So do the joyful things and know that someone, somewhere, is looking over your shoulder and smiling.

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  3. I’m a homebody, too. It takes a lot of energy to interact with people. Extraverts are energized by socializing and introverts are the opposite. Being in situations where you have to be ‘on’ a lot can just be devastating, especially during a time of stress…like mourning. So I’ll just be sitting quietly over here in the corner…close enough if you need me, and far enough away so you don’t want to retreat to your cocoon. 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much. Your kind words are definitely just what I need to help see me through this. As you say, it takes time … but the time sure goes by a lot better when we have friends to share it with, both in good times and in sad.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Good to hear from you, Biff. Time heals. Getting back into some type of normalcy. It’s knowing you have people sending you comfort that hopefully helps. I know about that gut-wrenching feeling that appears and disappears… hang in, my blogging friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Eric. I appreciate your words of comfort and wisdom. As you say, getting words of comfort and wisdom from the people around us (including our blogging buddies) helps a lot.

      Have a wonderful week!

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  5. It will take time to adjust. The rhythm of withdrawal and engagement is natural, and it brings healing. I’m glad you engaged here; I’ve been thinking about you and your family, and keeping your in my prayers.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Linda. Grief hits us at the oddest times. There seems to be no rhyme nor reason to it. We are fine for several days in a row, and then, for no apparent reason, we are overcome with the most gut-wrenching feeling of loss and despair imaginable. But as you say, it has its own rhythm and its own schedule of healing. Time is always the key.

      Thank you for thinking of me and for your prayers. I appreciate them very much! Bless you.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Biff! 100% behind you. We do NOT belong alone, which is why it is so healthy to mix with others, good *mentally*, hehe tho not physically especially if there is spinach dip nearby. I, like you, have always enjoyed my own company, and there is a certain stigma (still) to such an outlook. Lookin at you, Instagram.

    However, mental health has never been so part of the zeitgeist as it is today. I have fortunate not to have suffered from depression (more anxiety I guess), but my mother and her brother have and still do. This has given me an insight into how all-encompassing this disease can be. Non-sufferers may find a depressed person ‘annoying’ or ‘a pain in the ass’, and are ever ready with bromides.

    Anyway, have a pleasant week, and pay attention to the small things!

    Wilt 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hiya, Wilt! So glad you stopped by. You are right about we humans not really being wired to be completely alone. That being said, I think there are those of us that are completely content to be on our own for extended periods of time. Just not forever or for too long.

      And you are right about depression. I think we all suffer from it from time to time. It is just a normal part of being human. And then there are those who truly suffer from chronic depression. Like you, I’ve been very fortunate to not suffer from that, though I’ve witnessed friends and family member struggle with it. It is truly debilitating.

      And I shall indeed pay attention to the small things. They generally provide the most pleasure and are accessible to us all.

      Have a great week, too!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Good Lord! You sound just like me. I never want to leave my room, I am quite content to read and write all day long. However, that being said… I am looking forward to the weather improving and going for walks. (Just as long as there are not many people around) LOL!
    Enjoy the rest of the weekend!! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

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