Un-blogging the Brain

plumber-holding-plunger-cartoon-aloysius-patrimonio

I typically go through my days in a kind of haze, plunging the depths of my psyche for something meaningful to write about.

I spend my days in the taupe colored box where I sit and play Excel, which is a massively single-player fantasy role-playing game (MSFRPG).

This game allows the player to fantasize about living a more interesting life and to role-play that what they’re doing actually makes a difference in any way.

I unplug myself from this game at the end of the day so that I can go home where the walls are not taupe, but are instead Winter Orchard white.  It could be argued that it is not Winter Orchard white at all, but is either Dove white or Swiss Coffee white, but that is an argument that just causes me to stare and blink, like a pigeon staring at a Space Shuttle console.

However, now my daily routine has been changed somewhat by my having this blog. Now, rather than walking through my day in a haze, I now walk about staring at everything keenly, trying to find a topic for a blog post to be written later that evening while surrounded by my Acadia white walls (or are they Chantilly Lace white?).

Since starting this blog, I now stare at everything like a frog contemplating a stipule on a water lily while I think distractedly, “I could write about that, I guess.”

For example, I will pick up my stapler and contemplate it like Hamlet considering Yorick’s skull.

Alas, poor Swingline! I know it well.

An office tool of poorly feeding staples,
many of which are rusty
or will bend the wrong way
even when joining a single sheet of paper to itself.

It hath defied removal a thousand times
as I tried to remove the misshapen staple;
how embedded in my thumb it is!

It is slightly unnerving how I now stare at everyday objects, thinking I can extract a blog post out of them if only I could but squeeze them hard enough in the wine press of my mind.

But soft!
What blog wine through yonder word press breaks?

It is Ethyl acetate
(or possibly cork taint).

But after a while I will set down the stapler or tape dispenser or stress ball and get back to my spreadsheet and pretend that reality can be quantified with self-referencing equations.

 


Copyright ©2019 by Biff Sock Pow

 

15 comments

  1. No worries. You are a genius when it comes to writing period. We’re just lucky enough to have you here on WordPress writing your blog. Personally, I’m blown away by your wit. Frankly, I fear that one day you’ll start a list of future blog posts and totally mess up what you have going right now. Please. Don’t!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Your posts are always entertaining, even when they’re about having nothing to say. Sometimes I just don’t see anything new to write about, or is it that I’m not looking hard enough?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your next challenge is to pretend the show Seinfeld still exists, and script a sweet nothing about a stapler, in Shakespearean prose, making certain to clothe the characters in outrageous fortune.

    Or you can just make a circular reference in Excel, leading to a divide by zero error, and watch this quantum world disappear and instantly reappear as a Winter Orchard white colored tunnel.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Biff my brother

    You have a gift, which occasionally goes by the word ‘burden’, that you can share with the world. It is clearly a passion, and like my own passions, will wax and wane.

    I haven’t run in weeks (due to inclement weather haha), but it IS a passion. Same with tennis, another activity dependent on weather unless you have access to an indoor court like a toff or Roger. I have been at this on and off since 2009, and I still get a buzz from the dopamine of immediate approval (likes) and comments (kindness).

    I have been lucky enough to have made a lot of money in the past with my artwork, now I am doing it on my own terms. That means making a comic about a horse head mask I saw on on the ground the other day. Or two dead raccoons. Or cats on leashes. These things tickle me, and I can’t NOT talk about them.

    Obviously this train ride isn’t going to run forever. I did not draw for many years, work, family life was all or nothing. Health setbacks contributed to my new philosophy. I am determined to use my ‘burden’, not to help others exactly. No one calls the cartoonist if there is a cardiac arrest at the gym. Quick, we need someone to depict this in a humorous light!

    Never wanted to be a paramedic tho what boy DIDN’T love the show EMERGENCY! My posts serve my own needs as much as others, but also networks me with other like-minded peoples, a massive bonus.

    Okay I’ll wind this down and allow you to respond as you see fit. Have a nice week.

    Wilt

    Liked by 2 people

  5. A million possibilities of blog posts run through my mind when I drive to work. I think “hey I should write about how I make each license plate into an acronym for something”….then I get to work, work all day, drive home, have dinner, watch Netflix, fall asleep, and forget all about that amazing blog idea. Therefore hardly ever writing…..🙄

    Thanks for the chuckle, always enjoy your posts, even when they are about having nothing to say! 😁

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Blogs will do this. They get into our mind and challenge us. They dare us to create. Sure, we could always walk away but why be like the other thousand or so who do it every day. You and I are ready for the battle. We will create and when we do it is another battle won by our creative mind. Beer to all!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. How do I love this? Let me count the ways…. First of all paint colors drive me insane And I now know where Fifty Shades of Grey got its title. Second of all you are ingenious to get your inspiration from Shakespearing your household objects, whilst I just sit and stare into space asking myself “To blog or not to blog? That will always be the question!”

    Loved this one!
    Stephanie

    Liked by 2 people

  8. We’re on the same train, dear Biiiiiiiiif Bibibibibibibibibibibbibibiibibibibibibibff Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif… I think that when you find a way to write a post about a box of kleenex, you have mastered the art of looking blankly at your everyday life 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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