I’ll have to get this written in a hurry, because very soon it will not be Sunday morning any more.
I hate having to change the title of a piece in the middle of writing it. Sometimes it’s okay, like when I think of a better title, but when it’s just because it took me so long to write something that the title no longer applies … well … it’s embarrassing.
Anyway, let’s move along before I have to change the title of this, shall we?
Maybe, It’s Cold Outside
It is a cold, blustery day here in Dallas.
And when I say cold, I mean cold by Dallas standards. It is a mere 39 degrees (4 C), which may be laughable throughout much of the northern hemisphere, but here in Dallas it is considered cold.
It’s not considered “dang cold” though. It doesn’t get dang cold until it dips below freezing by a good margin.
It will also occasionally get “damn cold” every 4 years or so. When it is damn cold, it is considered a major weather event. “Damn cold” is when it gets down into the teens (~ -8 C). Damn cold pretty much shuts down Dallas and people stay home wondering what we’ve done collectively to warrant this obvious punishment from God. Whatever it is, we repent of it for awhile, until it warms up, and then we go back to our sinful ways. That is how repentance works.
To my knowledge, it has never been colder than “damn cold” here in Dallas. I remember a day back in about 1989 when it got down to 4 degrees ( -15 C) for about a day and a half. I did not think I was going to survive it. We all believed that it was the end of time and that no act of penance, no matter how grandiose, would make up for whatever we had done to deserve this.
But this is Dallas. Two days later it was back up into the 70s (23 C) and we went right back to being who we are. The cold had no lasting effect on us other than to give us a story to tell on our blogs 30 years in the future.
It hardly seemed worthy all of the fuss.
Prelude to the Kick-off of the Lead-in to the Run-up to the Preparations for the Early Days of the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
My preparations for Christmas have begun in earnest. Christmas for me officially kicks off when I venture into the attic to get down all of the Christmas stuff.
This is not as easy or as pleasant as it sounds. Not only is there a lot of it, but it is very difficult to maneuver it through the various levels of the attic, to thread it through the mountains of other non-Christmas grot that is inexplicably stored up there, and to somehow get it through the tiny little portal that the home builder thought would be more than adequate to move things into and out of the attic.
It reminds me of those toys that little children learn eye-hand-coordination skills with by putting the various shaped blocks into the similarly shaped holes. Getting anything into or out of my attic is exactly like that. So all of that intensive training I went through as a toddler has really paid off (unlike my college education).
So, anyway, on Friday I got down the massive tree, which is stored in two separate large and unwieldy body bags and pushed to a remote corner of the attic just to make retrieving them extra challenging. I like the point values for such things to be as high as possible.
I assembled it in the front room completely on my own, which is a “don’t do this” public service announcement (PSA) video you can expect to see on TV this time of year, along with the one about not testing your Christmas light strings while taking a bath.
Anyway, my assembly of the Christmas tree starts off easily enough, but by the time I get to the top of the tree, I’m standing precariously on a kitchen chair on one foot, on tiptoe, stretching at a 45 degree angle out over the rest of the assembled tree.
What could go wrong?
Watch the resulting PSA on TV when it comes out and see for yourselves.
But, in my defense, it is far too much trouble to go get the ladder out of the garage to do this.
Who has time for that sort of thing?
So, yeah, Christmas is officially kicked off now. All that remains is to decorate the tree, decorate the inside of the house, decorate the outside of the house, go shopping for Christmas presents with no clue what to get anyone, get the Christmas cards ready to mail out, get the Christmas packages mailed out in time to get there by Christmas ….
I am suddenly feeling very stressed out all of a sudden.
I think I need to go lay down.
Luckily, it is still Sunday morning.
I have not had to change the title of this post.