Welcome to my weekly state-of-the-weekend Report (SOTWR).
It is Sunday morning and that means that the weekend is nearly over.
Sunday is the day to lament all of the things you did not do on Saturday.
I mean, let’s face it, it’s too late to do them now. The day to do them was yesterday and now yesterday is but a memory. Or, if you have a brain like mine, it’s not even a memory.
What was I talking about?
Oh yes … my weekend to date.
Saturday is the day we think we are going to accomplish every task that was ever on any to-do list ever. Even lists that are not ours.
On Friday evening we think things like,
“Tomorrow is the day that I finally pick up the entire house and move it over seven inches to take full advantage of the shade from the neighbor’s live-oak tree. And after that I’m going to dig a pool in the back yard using only a spoon and egg-slicer, plaster it up, and have it filled with water by lunchtime. And then, if I feel up to it, I’m going to completely disassemble my car, etch unique part numbers on every piece, and then put it back together again, secure in the knowledge that if my car ever falls apart like that scene in the Laurel and Hardy movie, I can put it back together again.”
But long about Saturday afternoon, when I am looking back over the weekend and tallying up my accomplishments at that point, they consist of the following:
- Have watched 75 music videos from the 70s and 80s
- Managed to make it out of my pajamas by 10 AM
- Have spent no less than 45 minutes discussing with the denizens of chez Biff where we are going to eat for lunch. Then we eat at the same place we always do. (Total time for lunch: 2 hours, including The Decision)
- Have thought of no less than 5 blog posts to write, but that I completely forget about when I finally manage to sit down in front of the keyboard
- Have stood out in the front yard and declared, “Well, it’s too wet to mow. And the grass hasn’t really grown any from last week anyway. Plus it’s supposed to be windy tonight and that will totally blow all of these leaves out of here and into my neighbor’s yards (and their leaves into my yard), so I might as well wait until THAT is over.”
- Went to the grocery store to pick up a few things. But not too many things, because Sunday is when we make our real grocery store run. This is just to get us through Saturday. End up completely filling up a shopping cart. Wonder what we will actually end up buying on Sunday.
- Was talked into going to Starbucks for just a quick coffee. Then spend over an hour there discussing how we have too many coffee mugs at home, but that this new one will be totally awesome and will change our lives forever. Then finally read the label on the bottom and realize it is “hand wash only”, and so it is dead to us.
- Back at home, finally decide to sit down and write something, but end up steam-cleaning up the cat’s latest art project off the carpet.
- Might as well change the litter box while in cat maintenance mode.
- As long as I’m all dusty anyway, I might as well vacuum the carpets.
- Is that a cobweb way up there on the light in the entry way? Might as well get out the ladder and the duster and connect to the web.
- As long as I have the ladder out, I might as well replace the burned out bulb in the ceiling fan.
- As long as I’m up here on the ladder changing the light bulb, I might as well dust off the fan blades.
- Have to re-vacuum the carpet under the fan to clean up all the micro-fiber dust bunnies.
- Oh, dang it! I forgot about the Halloween decorations. Might as well go out in the front yard pull up all the inflatables and take down all the lights and pick up all the yard ornaments. Wow … this stuff is really wet. I’ll spread it out on the floor in the entry way to let it dry before I stuff it back into the boxes.
- Cat voices his displeasure at the presence of a large, wet, deflated spider in the entryway by barfing up his entire body-weight all over it.
- You know what? We’ve had this spider for like 8 years. I think it’s time to just throw it in the trash. Sure it still works fine and looks good … but … well … it had a good run. Good bye, old friend.
- Wait … what? How did it get to be 10 PM so quickly? I want my money back!
- But at least it’s the start of DST. We get an extra hour tonight! Woo hoo!
- Wait. What? How did it get to be 10 AM Sunday morning so quickly? It’s supposed to still be Saturday night. Why don’t I feel an extra hour rested?
- I’ve already seen this Wang Chung video 7 times already. I think I’ll go outside and see if the yard is still too wet to do anything with. With any luck, it will be. Oh cool! A Glass Tiger video! I haven’t seen this one in ages. Just one more ….
I think you can see how the rest of the day is going to go.
Happy Sunday everyone! I hope time slows down a little for you while there’s still some weekend left.