For those of you keeping a running tally, tonight is Friday.
Regular readers of my blog know that Friday is my favorite day of the workweek, and my 2nd favorite day of the overall week. (It was narrowly beaten out of the #1 spot by Saturday, whose son is engaged to my brother’s son’s music teacher’s daughter’s niece. Nepotism … whadaya gonna do?)
Dueling Raccoons in the Rain
It is another rainy evening here in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. We have had many, many rainy days here in a row. In fact, we are on pace to have our wettest year on record. Ever. We are at number 6 (with a bullet) right now and are expected to beat the old record some time in the coming week.
While these rains are not biblical by any stretch of the imagination, they are still fairly impressive. I have a large rain gauge that tops out at about 6 inches. I have had to empty it so many times over the past two weeks, that I have developed a bad case of “rain gauge elbow”.
The weather boffins said the other night that we received 23 inches of rain in the 6 week span of September 1 through mid-October.
Twenty three inches!
And we have added an inch or two to that total since I heard that figure on about Wednesday.
If I’ve ever had the urge to gather in animals two by two, now is as good a time as any to take up that rather bizarre habit. I plan to start with a pair of plastic raccoons I saw at the home improvement store the other day that have parabolic reflectors for eyes with solar-powered bulbs in the center of them.
We’ll see how that goes.
I failed high school biology, but I do remember you need two of everything.
Except fruit flies. They reproduce through halitosis.
Speaking of really annoying animals, my neighborhood has become infested with crows.
My only exposure to crows up to this point was some ancient Heckle and Jeckle cartoons I saw as a child.
Based on that limited exposure, I thought they were cute, fun-loving, and interesting birds. I didn’t understand why people didn’t like them.
Now I know why people don’t like them.
They are loud, obnoxious, destructive, and bullies. They run off every other bird in the neighborhood, including bluejays, to whom they are related by marriage. (See? Nepotism is everywhere.) But anything obnoxious enough to run off a bluejay, who are themselves about as obnoxious a bird as ever flew down the pike, is pretty obnoxious indeed!
They are infuriatingly smart, which means they haven’t had much difficulty in outwitting me at every turn.
So I am at my wit’s end on how to rid myself of these troublesome birds. I have contemplated everything just shy of murder. Would that be attempted murder murder? Is that the same as 2nd degree murder?
Anyway, I wish them no harm. I just wish they’d fly away as far as possible.
But everywhere they go is the shortest distance there … as the crow flies.
An Absolute Monarchy
I’m not sure why, but, in addition to crows, the skies have been filled with monarch butterflies lately.
Do crows and monarch butterflies have some sort of weird symbiotic relationship that I don’t know about? Or is it just a coincidence?
Or have they been filming a Lunesta™ commercial in my neighborhood?
All I know is that, given the choice between crows and butterflies, I far prefer butterflies.
Butterflies don’t make me want to shoot into the air like Yosemite Sam.
How to Kill a Blog Without Really Trying
According to my WP stats page, I managed to sneak my latest Alistair and Alexis story onto the blogosphere without hardly anyone noticing.
I did not think it was possible to actually have stats back up and go into negative territory, but apparently it is possible. WP is a sort of mÖbius strip of stats, particularly when I publish fiction.
Anyway, this is really just a shameless plug to bring it to your attention that I published another Alistair and Alexis story. Soon after posting it, it sank to the very bottom of the various tags on which I posted it like a rock in the ocean.
It wasn’t even heavy fiction!
It was light comedy. It should have floated.
I need to wrap this up. I have already rambled on far too long. I mean, I know this is a ramble post, but this is ridiculous.
Anyway, thank you for sticking with me this long! I have enjoyed your company.
Now go out there and have an awesome weekend!