Poor Biff’s Almanac: A Draining Week


I can’t believe it is Thursday already.

But then again, I also can’t believe it is 2018 already.

It feels like it should still be 1985 or so.

If I’d known life would go so fast, I would’ve gone by train instead.

Anyway, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself, here it is Thursday night and there’s not a whole lot we can do about that, but just accept it and move on.

It has been a quiet week here in Biffville (Population:  “What year is this?“)   Very little went on except work.  When not working, I was trying really, really hard to not think about work.

The only excitement in the week was a few nights ago when I had to unclog a sink.

Any activity that starts with the word “unclog” is automatically not a fun activity. When was the last time you ever heard anyone yell, “Woo hoo!  I get to unclog this!”  I’m willing to guess:  never.

Anyway, the sink was filled to the very lip with water and a little ribbon-like trickle was wending its way across the top of the counter top, to the edge of the vanity, dribbling down the front of the vanity door, and onto the floor.  I couldn’t understand why the sink was so full.

Who,” I asked myself, (for most of my monologues are internal), “Who would continue to use a sink when they knew it was clogged?

So the first order of business was to bail out the water.  Luckily, it was crystal clear.  In fact, it was preternaturally clear.  It was not at all that bluish-gray muck that one usually associates with the word “bail”.

So I bailed out all but about a quarter inch of water and then stuck a bucket under the trap inside the vanity.  Then I unscrewed the little plunger in the drain pipe underneath the sink that makes the stopper go up and down.  That would need to be out of the way before I could snake the drain.

The quarter inch of water that was left in the sink dutifully ran out of the plunger hole and into the bucket (just like I’d planned).

And here’s where it gets a little strange.

After the quarter inch of water drained out, there was a gurgling noise, and then water really begin to flow out of the plunger hole.   And flow.  And flow.

Where the heck was this extra gallon of water coming from?

And then I remembered.  The condensation line from the air conditioner up the attic is piped down and joins into the regular drain plumbing.  And, based on this phenomenon of the magically appearing water, it joined the plumbing just upstream from the sink’s plunger hole.  A clog far down in the drain was apparently causing the A/C condensation to essentially back up into the sink.

And who says water never flows uphill?

Anyway, after the water finally drained away, I was able to get out ye olde drain snake and attempt to snake away the clog.  It took about 12 feet of my 20 foot snake to finally clear out whatever it was, but soon everything was flowing as smoothly as malarkey out of a car salesman’s gullet.

And the fact that this story is the most blog-worthy thing I could think to write about this week shows you just what an incredibly slow week it was.


And are you sure this isn’t really 1985?

If it isn’t, then why am I wearing acid washed jeans, a garish sweater with the sleeves pushed up to my elbows, and a sweatband on my head?

And why is my cell phone the size of a loaf of bread?



    • Hi Sarah! I’m so glad you liked it! I was just rummaging around in my random word trunk trying to string enough of them together for a blog post. I’m trying to get back into the habit.

      And happy Thursday to you too!

      Liked by 1 person

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