I haven’t checked in with you much this past week. And by that, I mean I haven’t written any actual blog posts. That’s because I was being lazy and just posting the various parts and pieces of my latest Alistair and Alexis story, which I had written in fits and starts over the previous two months.
I suppose I was just using that as a crutch over the past week and so not really writing about what is going on here in Biffville (population: lethargic).
So let’s see if I can come up with enough material to fill up a blog post.
Into Each Rain a Little Life Must Fall
The rains have finally come to Dallas. I’ve received upwards of 4 or 5 inches in the past week, all thanks to the contributions of Hurricane Gordon. I wish that it were not necessary for large swaths of the American coastline to be erased from Google Earth in order for us to get an adequate amount of rain here in North Texas, but that seems to be how it works. My apologies to anyone who was affected by H. Gordon, but I do thank you most kindly for the rain. And my lawn thanks you, too.
This past weekend came and went with hardly a whimper, let alone a bang. The rain kept me indoors much of the weekend (pardon my humble bragging), so working in the yard was out of the question. I have an electric mower, and the little safety sticker on the side of the mower written in #2 font said, “Do not mow grass in the rain”.
Who am I to flout the authority of a safety sticker? It’s not like I didn’t learn my lesson that time I was blow-drying my hair in the shower while asleep.
So I kept my sorry, lazy derriere in the house most of the weekend, reading, writing, watching TV, napping, and chasing (at a very low rate of speed) other trivial pursuits. I did do some vacuuming, dusting, laundry, and other assorted light cleaning, but I can’t say that my heart was fully in it. But then again, it never is.
I’m going to blame it on the rain anyway since it’s not here to defend itself.
What Works For Me
Work has been … well … work. It is seldom anything else. Honestly, I think the only reason I keep showing up there every day is that they pay me to do so. In fact, I’m quite sure of it.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m very, very grateful for my job. But if I thought I could live on a small plot of land in the wilderness without starving to death or being eaten by rabid groundhogs, I’d jump at the chance. Sadly, my survival skills consist solely of being able to drive to Target and wander around aimlessly. And even then I’m liable to be found unconscious in the toaster aisle, having been unable to find where they keep the Fig Newtons.
So, it is the life of a working stiff for me! It is my fate. It is my destiny. It is the role I was born to play.
An Obtuse Metaphor That Even I Don’t Understand
Speaking of shameless self-promotion and non-sequitur segues, I would like to thank everyone who left such kind praises of my Alistair and Alexis story, “The Mystery of the Spodumine Penguin“. The reviews were all very positive and encouraging and had me blushing deeply at all of the very kind words.
Ironically, even with such wonderful reviews, readership was amazingly lite. In fact, after a week of posting nothing but the pieces of the Penguin mystery, traffic to my blog had practically disappeared. If this blog were a business, it would now have an “Out of Business” sign on it.
I think the take-away from that experience is this: Be sure to sprinkle a few regular, non-fiction blog posts in between fictional posts.
Or, here’s another analogy that is apropos of nothing. Supposing this blog is a filling station and you come here every 4 or 5 days to fill up on petrol. And then, every 3rd or 4th visit you get a free piece of glassware, like a nice tumbler or something. That’s all fine and good. You’ll take the tumbler even though it doesn’t match any of the other glassware you have at your house. You reason that you can use it as a spittoon or somewhere to keep all those paper clips and bobby pins that you’re always finding on the floor.
But what if I no long have petrol at my filling station, but only cheap, mismatched glassware. Would you keep stopping by?
I very seriously doubt it.
So what I’m trying to say is this. Keep stopping by for the gas, enjoy a free tumbler once in awhile, and please don’t light up while you’re standing next to the pumps.
And I promise to keep the cheap glassware to a minimum.
The Flipping Dismount
So there you have it. My week in review. I think you can now understand why I really didn’t write anything this past week.
Don’t forget to pick up your free tumbler on the way out.