Friday took its sweet time getting here this week, and though I got a little peeved at it, it is hard for me to stay angry at Friday for very long. So, all is forgiven, Friday. Please come back home.
It’s been a strange week.
For one thing, we got over two inches of rain earlier this week. That is such a rarity in Texas in mid-August that no less than ten percent of the population ran out to Home Depot to buy the materials to build an ark. Unfortunately, the only creatures they had to stock it with were armadillos, squirrels, raccoons, June bugs, cicadas, grackles, and skunks.
I’m pretty sure they will be denied entry in most ports around the world.
On the plus side, however, all of the foliage in these parts suddenly sprang back to life. Texas now no longer looks like a sepia photograph of an alien landscape. It looks like the same alien landscape PhotoShopped by someone with no clue how to operate PhotoShop.
Such weird shades of green! It’s like the entire landscape ate a bad burrito.
And as if that were not enough, the whole shebang will have to be mowed this weekend in order to avoid being littered with unsightly citations from the city. They cannot be bothered to fix a pothole the size of a Suzuki Samurai, but let your grass get an eighth of an inch too long and they will come down on you like an anvil on Wile E. Coyote.
It is pointless to try and explain to them that the rain made each blade of grass shoot up overnight, just like the beanstalk that was the star of the off-off-Broadway production “Jack and the Beanstalk” (starring Tony Randall as the 3rd bean).
So Saturday morning will have me outside pushing a mower through thick, lush (and still wet) grass. To make the experience even more pleasurable, I will also be pushing myself through thick, lush humidity, along with soft, fluffy clouds of mosquitoes. I will be making millions of tiny little blood donations.
I wonder if I will also get millions of tiny little cookies and cups of punch.
In other news, I received a compliment at work earlier this week. In don’t receive a lot of compliments in my line of work. The last one I got was in October 1987 when a product I designed inadvertently and unexpectedly worked during a customer demo.
Anyway, earlier this week I was given glowing praise regarding something I did. Sadly, the task I was praised for is one that I find soul-grindingly tedious, mind-numbingly boring, and that I take no pleasure whatsoever in doing. It was like receiving an Oscar for accidentally recording 90 minutes of dead air.
Hey, I’ll take the Oscar, but I’m guessing the sequel will be disappointing.
Dead Air 2!
“This time it’s even more boring!”
Come to think of it, that might be a good tagline for my next blog post.
Hmmm … something to think about.