More Adventures in Time Travel

Time Machine #1

I am now convinced that I am somehow time-traveling.

I don’t know how I do it, nor can I predict when it is going to happen, but I know when it has happened.

It almost always happens late on a Friday afternoon when I am getting off of work.  I remember driving home.  I remember ticking off in my head all of the things I am going to do over the upcoming weekend.

But then suddenly it is late Sunday evening and I am sitting in my writing chair in my pajamas wondering what the hell just happened.  It is very disorienting and feels a lot like reading a William Faulkner novel while eating psychedelic mushrooms and listening to the impossible music, Bad Apple.

The funny part is, I will have had memories planted in my brain of things I supposedly did over this obviously non-existent weekend.

I plan to start doing experiments to find out if this mysterious phenomenon is reversible.  For instance, can I sit in my writing chair on Sunday evening and somehow suddenly be getting off of work on the Friday before … two days into the past?

If I can perfect this, I plan to patent it and then sell it on infomercials in the wee hours of the morning on broadcast TV channels during episodes of “Three’s Company”.  Studies have shown that people who watch “Three’s Company” are the demographic most likely to need reverse time travel, presumably to help them determine where their life began to spiral out of control.

I will let you know how my experiments go.

Of course, if any of them require math or installing an app on my phone, then I will most likely fail spectacularly.

16 comments

  1. Yes …. odd how young people spend so much time rushing forward into time when that is the very way to encounter some very nasty collisions …. particularly those with your future self running like hell in the opposite direction.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So true! A very wise observation. I’ve always said that it’s a good thing no one ever whispers into our youthful ears what our later years are going to be like. We wouldn’t be able to stop screaming or sobbing.

      But it’s not all bad. Being able to predict the weather with various body parts is kind of cool.

      Like

  2. Eventually you will discover that the phenomenon encroaches into the week. 7 days pass in a few hours. Suddenly time is accelerating at breathtaking speed into what was (only yesterday it seems) the future.
    More alarmingly is the discovery that, as one’s life approaches the speed of light, one also begins to expand to infinite mass.
    So …. if one were to actually find time to do anything on the weekend, one has absolutely nothing to wear.
    This explains the trend for unattractive aging people to suddenly embrace nudism.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow … that was awesome! Suddenly everything makes sense. Mind …. blown.

      Of course, if I were to embrace nudism, that would pretty much put an end to time travel. No one want to travel back (or forward) to see that. Not even me.

      Thanks for commenting!

      Like

  3. A similar thing happens to me quite often when I think I have a free day with no commitments, just gardening and wriitng; I get kidnapped by Aliens after breakfast who deposit me back in the kitchen in the evening, just in time to cook dinner. And most annoying of all, they always erase my memory of my visit to the Alien craft.

    Liked by 1 person

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