Hot-Weather Tips for Visitors to Texas

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It looks like it’s going to be another scorcher today here in Texas. Which, is pretty much like saying, “It looks like the sun will be coming up again today.”

A few days ago when I was driving home from work, the outside temperature (according to my car’s temperature display) was 108 degrees (42.2 C). I trust my car implicitly. It has never lied to me before. Certainly not about the outdoor temperature.

If any of you from cooler regions of the planet find yourself in Texas in the summer, here are some handy warm-weather tips.

Hot-Weather Tips for Visitors to Texas

  1. Stay inside. All day. Every day. There is nothing outside you need to see. Chances are, it is on fire anyway.
  2. Stay hydrated. The best way to do this is to catch a flight northwards to someplace that is inside the Arctic Circle and ask them for some something to drink. Once there, it would be a good time to look for nice houses in the area.
  3. When getting in your car after it has been sitting in the parking lot at work all day, do not actually touch the door handle. Use grilling gloves or pot holders. Same thing with the steering wheel. In fact, you should probably just abandon your car and plan on picking it up sometime in October.
  4. Wear sunblock at all times. I recommend Crisco shortening or perhaps butter. Do not use extra virgin olive oil as it tends to scorch. After putting on the sunblock, apply a nice rub of cumin, paprika, brown sugar, kosher salt, and a little cinnamon or allspice. Remember, 8 minutes of direct sunlight on each side is plenty. Garnish. Serves 8.
  5. Wear loose-fitting, lightweight, light-colored clothing. This will allow you to be comfortable on the plane as you are flying northwards to, say, Canada or Iceland. Or, if you decide to stay in Texas, the light colors allow your body to be spotted easily by the authorities when you collapse on the asphalt parking lot between your car and the entrance to Kroger where you had planned to crawl into the ice machine and apply for asylum.
  6. Stay inside during the hottest part of the day. The hottest part of the day runs roughly from mid-May until late September.
  7. Take frequent breaks if you have to work outside. Doctors recommend taking a five minute break every 15 seconds or so. Doctors also recommend a career change.
  8. Recognize the early signs of heat stroke. The earliest sign is when you put your hand on the doorknob to go outside. If you recognize yourself doing this, seek medical (or psychiatric) help immediately.

Now get out there and have fun!

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58 comments

  1. As Bryntin said above, we’re having a relentless spell of high 20s here in the UK and we’re not use to it. Water companies are screaming at us to save water as they can’t clean and pump enough of the stuff round the system to meet demand. Men are walking around with no shirts on, getting sunburnt, and every back garden now features a paddling pool. I’m going to share this on my personal Facebook page if that’s ok, some really useful tips here that my family and friends would appreciate during our mini heatwave πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Haha!!! I love it! Hey, here in Maine we are getting 90F temps and a lot of people are grousing. Not me! I love the heat. I’m very happy in front of my fan. I know it’s really, really hot there, but do I get bonus points for 90F and no air conditioning?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh you definitely get bonus points! 108 with air conditioning is not as bad as 90 without A/C.

      On a similar note, I survived the summer of 1980 in Mississippi. The daytime highs were literally like 117 degrees very day for like 30 days straight with high humidity. The night-time temperature would only get down to like 99 degrees. And we had no air conditioning! To this day I don’t know how I survived that.

      Stay cool up there!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Most of the UK has gone mad because it has been nearly 30Β° for a week. They started moaning that it was ‘too hot’ after the sun had been out for about four hours, the next 6 days of it has rendered them into little grease pools on the ground. People are on Facebook locally shouting at each other for having the temerity to take dogs for a walk in ‘this heat’ and shops have sold out of ice cream and beer.

    I have no idea what these people would be like in 42Β° Texas but I am thinking probably some sort of instant conflagration like a firework rocket the moment they walk out of the airport.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha ha! You’re probably right. But really it is all a matter of what one is used to. I probably couldn’t handle the cold winters that English people think nothing of. And, believe it or not, when I say things like “oh, it was 108 today”, I will invariably get a resonse from someone saying, “Oh, that’s nothing … it was 200 degrees here yesterday. Cars were melting and flowing down the street like molten lava.” πŸ™‚

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  4. Yes, to every one of these tips! I like the idea of pot holders for the car door and steering wheel, and the seat belt metal will surely brand you! Our cold water tap is now running a bit hot, too. We did cool down today to 101, from the 108 we had a few days ago. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, potholders are a necessity this time of year. And those sun blockers you put in your windshield. I got branded by a car key one time. I had had my car worked on and the mechanic left the car out in the sun all day and when I picked it up, I grabbed the key off of the console and it literally left a red shape of a key on my palm. I learned not to do that any more.

      And yes … 101 seems quite pleasant after 108. I was actually driving around with the window down today … and it was 99. But it felt cooler!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Love the humor, but I think I’d need a different set of tips, given that I’m one of those who work outdoors. The first thing that comes to mind is “Make sure you have your will updated by June 1.”

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  6. LOL… Excellent tips! I have to second Lorne on this one, though. The expected temperature here in MontrΓ©al for the week to come is between 42 and 46 degrees Celsius… I am almost happy to be working all week πŸ˜› (free air conditionning)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Cyranny! It’s so good to hear from you again. I’m sorry it’s going to be so hot up there. I promise you, I had nothing to do with that. It’s bad enough that it is so hot down here. It’s a shame other’s have to suffer through this as well. Stay cool up there! And use up all the free air conditioning you can. Maybe you can pitch a tent at the public library. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dear Big Brother (no not the one from “1984”)… This might be my last message, as I might melt completely today. It is 33 C here in my apartment, and the weather girl says it is a nice, comfortable 46 C outside. I’ve turned both the oven and my stove’s four burners on to try to cool things a little, but it hasn’t been quite effective yet… Please tell Mom & Dad I loved them, if you don’t get news tomorrow!

        LOL

        Liked by 1 person

        • 46 C!? Wow! Do you live on the surface of the sun? You are shattering all of my fond delusions of Canada as being so much cooler than it is here in Texas.

          I’ll tell Mom & Dad that you send your love …. and then I’ll tell them that you were the one who was always behind all of the pranks that used to drive them crazy when we were growing up. πŸ˜›

          Stay cool up there! Don’t get overheated. Drink plenty of fluids. Go hang out in a coffee shop or something until this blows over.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Mouahahahaha… it is official, we broke heat records today (at least it was worth suffering the constant sweating)… I am spending most of my time in my bedroom (I have air conditioning for it) and I was fortunate enough that my best friend was leaving for Morocco tonight, so I spent the afternoon at the airport begging her not to go through customs (I didn’t mind her leaving, but I didn’t want to have to get out of the very comfortable building)

            So yes, I have survived… So far. If I don’t make it, you have my blessing to get me blamed for every prank. I can leave a letter, behind, if that helps πŸ˜›

            On a serious note, I am doing pretty well, given the circumstances… I practically live by the water faucet, and limit physical activities to the minimum… I’ll keep you posted as we still have a couple of days of intense heat ahead of us…

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  7. reminds me of 20 years I would rather forget………..El Paso was terrific (they don’t count themselves as Texans ya know) but Austin sucked..and Boy do I mean SUCKED.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I hear ya. I have only been to El Paso one time …. actually, I just drove past it on the Interstate on my way to California. I just remember thinking that I have never before seen an entire city that was beige from top to bottom. There was zero color anywhere that I saw. It was like staring at a sepia photograph of a city. That must get awfully depressing.

      As for Austin … well … every family has their oddballs. Austin is ours. We call it the San Francisco of Texas. What little bit of it that I’ve seen is quite scenic and the people are very nice. They’re just … well … different. In a good way. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, yes! I quite frequently drive by homes that are getting re-roofed and, though they’re not using tar, they put down black felt and then very dark shingles. I can’t imagine how hot it must be up there. Those people need to be making about $250,000 a year!

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