Weekend Recap — With Your Host, Biff Biffington

Anchorman #2

Well, it was quite a weekend, Folks!

I hope that you kept the pets inside, kept the water dripping, and that you covered up your plants to protect them from the frost.

Oh wait … I somehow got a hold of an old Weekend Recap script.  Let’s see here …

[sound of ruffling papers]

Ah!  Here we go!  Someone put tonight’s copy in the recycling bin.   (I do wish people would stop putting banana peels in the recycling bin!  This copy is a mess.)

Well, it was quite a weekend, Folks!

I hope you put your special booties on your pets to keep their foot pads from getting burned, kept water circulating in the birdbaths to keep it from boiling away, and that you covered up your plants to keep them from bursting into flames.

Summer may not officially get here until June 21, but someone forgot to tell that to the sun!  Ha ha!  June has sure turned the heat up.   If we were frogs, I’d suggest jumping out of the saucepan pretty soon.

(Seriously, who puts banana peels in the recycling bin?  What are we?  Chimps?)

It was a busy weekend in Biffville (population: scorched).  The grass was trimmed to the regulation height.  This will hopefully ward off a proliferation of unsightly dandelions and even more unsightly citations from the city.   Flowering plants were watered to … well … I don’t know why they were watered.   Nothing is going to flower in this blooming heat!  Ha ha ha!  See what I did there?   (Ahem)

I see from the ol’ police blotter that there has been a spate of vandalism to water sprinkler heads.  Specifically, the water sprinklers in my yard!  The vandals were none other than squirrels who chewed the sprinkler heads off trying to get to the water within.

To fix this problem, I went and bought good-sized birdbath and set it out back and filled it with water.  The fauna in my back yard will never again have to go about their daily tasks with cotton-mouth, wrinkled fingertips, and flat, lifeless hair.  They can drink their fill of the finest North Texas tap water that money can buy.  Why, it even effervesces sometimes due to all of the chlorine and trihalomethanes.

If that doesn’t make you want to flocculate, nothing will!

Anyway, word hasn’t gotten about the neighborhood yet that Biff’s Bar is open for business.  I expect the customers will begin to flock in soon.  Business will be booming as soon as they realize there is a new watering hole open for business.  Birds are expected to stop in to wet their whistle.

In other news, I finally got my recently defunculated laptop computer back from the shop.  I fired it up tonight and discovered almost instantly that I am not a big fan of Windows 10.  Each new version of Windows takes things that used to be simple and intuitive and makes them complicated and obtuse.  Or it removes them altogether.  Anyway, I suspect I have another day of getting it set up and functional before it will be … well … set up and functional.  Stay tuned for further updates.

It was reported today that someone has been putting banana peels in the recycling bins.  An anonymous tip has insinuated that the miscreants may be chimps, but at this stage in the investigation, there are no solid leads.  Sources within the investigative branch of Biffland Yard have said, off the record, that it appears that many clues were flung around the crime scene.

Well, that’s all the news for tonight, folks.

Good night …. and good enough.







  1. I’ll add your name to the list of people who have confirmed my wisdom in avoiding Win10. It wasn’t actually my wisdom, but my computer gurus wisdom. Anyhow, it’s interesting that it’s still more of a leap than they advertise. As for the heat? Yup. Consider the life of a boat varnisher these days. See? At least your office is air conditioned (or so I presume).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, I’m sure I’ll get used to Win-10, just like I’ve gotten used to the past 20 versions of Windows (and DOS before it). I just hate the inefficiency and angst that comes along with learning something new (and needlessly new).

      And yes, I do love air conditioning!

      (Boat varnisher sounds like it should be a euphemism for something else. Ha ha!)


    • It depends on the city. A lot of cities (or suburbs of the cities) have ordinances against letting your lawn get shabby (or your house, or your car). Strictness of the codes and levels of enforcement vary from city to city. But yes, it can happen.


      • Wow. Wildlife has a tough time as it is, I’d hate not to be able to supply the little oasis of pollen and seed that I get by leaving my front lawn to go wild at this time of year. Oh well, sticking to my ‘in the sticks’ countryside, no rules here!

        Liked by 1 person

          • See my other site (cornishbearsphotos.com) for the sort of places I get too in a ten minute drive… warning: may invoke feelings of hating me for rubbing it in… 😉


  2. I think I’ve had those days – just can’t remember the when; oh, dear – banana skins? Recycling isn’t for compostables.
    and now that I’ve had my Monday (oh, is it still here? bugger) … off I wander into the – is that a sunset?

    Liked by 1 person

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