Biff Is Awakened by a K-Pop Earworm, Rediscovers Fig Newtons, and Slips a Disk(drive)

man with spiral glasses 2

I should have known what kind of day it was going to be when my eyes flew open this morning and my first thought was not a thought at all, but the most schmaltzy, sugary, nauseatingly cute K-Pop song one can imagine without the aid of mind-altering drugs (or two packets of NutraSweet™).

Frankly, I would have preferred to wake up screaming from a nightmare in which an alien was about to dissect me (all in the name of science, of course).

The more skeptical among you are probably thinking, “Just where in the world did you ever hear a K-Pop song?”  That is a fair question.  It was just a snippet of a song someone used to play frequently as a joke.  It is fine as a joke.  But as an earworm it is a serious psychological problem.

As an antidote, I listened to K.C. and the Sunshine Band all the way to work to try to rid myself of this K-Pop scourge.  I have always heard that the best way to get rid of an earworm is to replace it with another one.

I received an email from HR today wanting to talk to me about singing “(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty” under my breath all day long.  In retrospect, perhaps K.C. and the Sunshine Band was not a good choice.

Upon even further reflection, perhaps it was imprudent of me to grow up in the 1970s.

A Fig-ment of My Imagination

In other news, I just ate a quarter of a package of Fig Newtons.

I blame genetics.

You see, on my trip to Alabama, my brother decided to buy a package of Fig Newtons.  I have not eaten a Fig Newton in probably 20 or 25 years … not since I kicked my addiction to them back in the 1990s.

Man, I love those little fig-filled cakes!

But I had to give them up.  They are outrageously expensive compared to, say, Acme Brand Chock-a-Chip Kookies™ (made with real imitation cocoa and FD&C Brown #5) from the “Just a Buck” chain of dollar stores.

And Fig Newtons are good for you!  They have real figs right in there.  And, if you’ll remember from Genesis, figs were pretty much there in the beginning, albeit as a fashion statement.  If Adam and Eve had stuck to figs instead of branching out into other fruits we could have all avoided a lot of crawling on our bellies and eating dust (and Chock-a-Chip cookies) and growing thistles.

Anyway, I saw the package laying there and my old addiction welled up inside me and I asked him if I could have a Fig Newton and he said yes and I ate half the package in one sitting.

I am very embarrassed.  I feel like I should cover my shame with fig leaves (or Newtons).

Disk Go Here … Disk Go There …

Regular readers of this humble blog are no doubt familiar with the untimely demise of my laptop and my subsequent (and fruitless) search for a replacement.  I finally got frustrated at the ordeal of finding a suitable replacement.   Diogenes had an easier time finding an honest man (and I’m pretty sure he had the extended warranty).

So rather than replace it, I just decided to have the hard disk replaced.  Even as we speak, the fine folks at Best Buy are creating a bootable disk for me and installing it in my currently defunct laptop.  I hope to have it back in a few days.

As an added bonus, the new hard drive will only have Windows on it and nothing else.  Noticeable by its absence will be any trace of adware, bloatware, crapware, and spyware.  Just a pristine version of Windows 10.

That’s right.  I am leaving Ubuntu and going back to the warm, welcoming bosom of The Collective™ (a subsidiary of Microsoft®).

Don’t judge me!

And pass the Fig Newtons.









  1. I wonder if there’s such a thing as a tasteworm — you know, like an earworm. If there is, maybe you should substitute Oreos or such for the Fig Newtons. Or not. I know what can happen with those Oreos.

    I must say, I haven’t had a single problem since I had a new computer constructed with Win7Pro. I suppose by now they have the bugs out of 10 — here’s to an easy transition and no problems!


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