I don’t normally post things on a Friday afternoon, but then again, I don’t normally do much of anything.
Abnormally, however … now that’s a different story. A horse of a different color. And a fine how-do-you-do.
As it turned out, I had to work from home today so that I could await the arrival of a city inspector to look at the water heater I recently had installed. (You can read all about it here).
Being a government-run function, they won’t actually tell you when the inspector will arrive. That would be just crazy! But even the cable company will give you a four hour window. The cable company, for Pete’s sake! Not exactly the high water mark of customer satisfaction.
So I had to take off the whole day in the hopes that the inspector would actually show up at some point.
And he did. I thought he would have all sorts of gas-sniffing electronics, measuring tools, photo-inspection equipment, and a utility belt full of all sorts of useful gadgets.
Nope. None of that.
He was just an elderly little man who literally glanced at the water heater for about 5 seconds and said, “Yep. You’re good to go.”
I asked, incredulously. “That’s it?”
“Well, I don’t smell gas, so you’re good.”
“What about carbon monoxide?”
“Nope. Don’t smell that neither,” he said.
“Well … you wouldn’t. It’s odorless.”
“It’s fine,” he said, walking out the front door. “You have a nice day now.”
“Well, I sure hope I do, too! But now I have my doubts.”
Anyway, that was that. Then I awaited the arrival of the roofers to show up and fill the gap around the new water heater vent so as to prevent rain from pouring into my attic around the vent. Mind the gap, indeed!
They arrived and, by applying liberal doses of pooky (aka silicon calking), they made it so that I could no longer see daylight around the water heater vent. But what I COULD see was about five pounds of pooky. Good thing they did that AFTER the inspector was here. Although I’m not sure he would have noticed.
I asked the roofer if that was the standard way to fill a gap around a vent, but as neither of us spoke the same language, we just shook hands instead and he departed.
I am feeling less and less comfortable and at ease in my own home. Why can’t life be more like one of those DIY shows on TV? The host of the show and his/her crew always sound 100% confident that what they’re doing is absolutely, positively, no doubt the best and only way to do whatever it is that they’re doing. I don’t care how complicated it is, their approach is always right on the money and executed flawlessly.
But every time I have the simplest home repair done, the person doing the work always seems a little nervous and lacking in self-confidence.
“I’m going to run the quarter-inch conduit,” they announce nervously, as if they think it really should be the half-inch conduit.
“And we’ll hook up the new circuit to a spare breaker,” they say dubiously, as if they secretly know that all of the breakers in my garage are really just empty Tic-tac containers full of spider webs. “And then you’ll be good to go,” they announce with a lack of conviction, is if he were really saying, “We’re going to miss you.”
And I always … ALWAYS … have to call them back because something wasn’t done quite right. I’ve never seen anyone on “This Old House” or “Holmes On Homes” get called back to fix something they botched. I guess it is just ME.
If I don’t post any more blogs, you’ll know it was the carbon monoxide.
Or writer’s block.