Poor Biff’s Almanac — Thursday Night Edition

The publication of my latest “Biff’s World” comic strip caused such a precipitous drop in blog traffic, that I felt I needed to jump on here stat and write something to help stop the bleeding.  The strange part is, it not only caused traffic on my blog to drop, it caused it to drop all over the blogosphere.  I can only assume that people saw the comic and made a sudden vow to give up the Internet.

Rather than take that personally, I decided I would try to make a blog post out of it.  That’s what we bloggers do.  We take lemons and make … um … things out of them.

Lemony things.

But not lemony fresh things.  That’s just stupid.

It was a good day in Biffville (population:  restive).  I did a lot of things at my place of employment today that looked a lot like work to casual observers.

I always hate it when there are casual observers in my office, but they drift through from time to time … you know … observing.

Casually.

I could tell they were casually observing because they wore khakis and sneakers and pull-over shirts.  The formal observers usually are in jackets and ties and are holding martinis and looking at me through monocles.

I finished a VBA tool I’ve been working on casually off and on for a few months.  It’s just a simple little tool, but by my calculations it will save the company upwards of a hundred thousand dollars a year.  However, my calculations are notoriously wrong because they are based on best-case scenarios, fudge factors, and randomized variables.

Anyway, I decided to print out the code listings so I could use it under one of the legs of my office table which has a propensity to rock when I lean on it (which is often).  I was stunned to find out that the code listings clocked in at nearly a hundred pages!   So maybe it isn’t such a simple little tool after all.  However, I am pretty sure about that hundred thousand dollars.  Unless one of my formulae are wrong.  But … whatever … I got to use the more snooty version of the plural of formula, so it is a win-win, regardless.

I hope to be awarded a patent for my software, or at least a ten dollar gift card to Dollar General, but I would not say “no” to another lanyard with the phrase “Kwality is gob won” emblazoned on it.   We seem to have lots of them for some reason.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Thursday evening.