Flinch and Chips:  Served Cold, with Tongue In Cheek


The work day came and went.  Dinner was served.  Coffee was made.  Pajamas were donned.

A day cannot get any more ordinary than that.  But I am all about ordinary.

In fact, I am the Alexander the Great of ordinary.  I suppose that makes me Alexander the Ordinary.  Biff the Bleh.

If you are looking for extraordinary, I am afraid you will have to look elsewhere.  I heard that the blog just around the corner is offering Extraordinary at reduced rates.  Tell them I sent you and you will get an additional 5% off.

The only thing unusual about today is that I started it off in a dentist’s chair.  No, nothing horrible happened that landed me there.  It was just time for one of my biannual cleanings.  Or was it bicuspid cleanings?  Either way, there was much scraping and burnishing of the ol’ ivories.

Things went well.  My hygienist was Chatty Cathy and talked to me a great deal while I had all sorts of things in my mouth, including most of her hand.  I’m not sure how she expected me to answer.  I tried semaphore, but the flags kept interfering with the suction hose.  I tried blinking in Morse Code, but she doesn’t speak Morse Code.  It was more like Morose Code.

Eventually I settled on unintelligible grunts just to let her know I was listening.  What choice did I have?  It is hard to be eloquent when ice cold water is being sprayed onto a particularly cold-sensitive molar.

After all of the real work was done, the dentist breezed in and looked at my chipped molar that I had told them about upon my arrival.  I chipped it several months ago.  I remember waking up in the middle of the night just in time to realize I was swallowing a piece of tooth.  I had been dreaming that I was chewing on sand and grit.

Isn’t the human mind a wonderful thing?   Rather than telling you that you are in the process of chewing on and swallowing a fragment of tooth, it just leads you to believe that you are chewing on gravel, which, in the context of the dream, is completely normal.  The Biff in my dream was like, “Oh yes.  I quite frequently chew on gravel.  It is high in riboflavin, cobalamin, and granite.”

Anyway, the dentist looked at the space where part of my tooth had been and said I’d have to come in on another day to have it filled.  It really hasn’t been bothering me, other than the fact that my tongue freaked out the morning following the chippage.  “Oh my gosh!” it screamed in a high-pitched voice.  “A gigantic chunk of our mouth is gone!  Things will never be the same again!  We are surely doomed!”  (My tongue can be quite dramatic.)

I talked it off the ledge eventually, though it is just now deciding that having a chip in my tooth is normal.  Soon it will be alarmed at the unwelcome appearance of a piece of faux tooth.






  1. Morose Code, lol. That one made me snort.

    I have fairly healthy teeth, despite my parents both having awful teeth. I have no idea how that worked. But my poor hubby cracked a tooth on . . . drum roll please . . . biscotti. Worse yet, biscotti that I made. I bake a lot, and doggone it, I’m a pretty decent baker, if I say so, but I’d never made biscotti before, and I guess I was heavy on the flour because that dough is STICKY. The end result was some pretty solid biscotti that we were contemplating feeding to the dogs even before my hubs broke the tooth. Sigh. His dentist got a good laugh out of it, anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha ha! Now that’s funny! You must have used the same recipe that the airlines use with their pre-packaged biscotti snacks. I dang near broke a tooth on one of those one time. It put me off biscotti for a long time after that. The fact that I had to beg them for it didn’t make the experience any better.

      Anyway, I’m sure your husband didn’t blame you for the broken tooth. It could have been anything. And I suppose the real winners in this story was the dogs. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. As long as your dentist doesn’t ask you if it’s safe, you’re good. Better to get that taken care of now. I waiting then lost more than half the tooth compliments of a caramel candy. Had to get a crown after that one

    Liked by 2 people

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