Poor Biff’s Almanac — Avoiding an International Incident

Man Drinking Coffee 01

 

In my continuing attempts to create Biff 2.0, I am tackling my final food addiction.  Well, not my final food addiction.  My final addiction would be chocolate and I would be delusional if I said I was ever going to give up chocolate.  It would be as crazy as my announcing that I am giving up oxygen.

No.  Chocolate shall remain my one, final vice.  Besides, every man needs a vice to make him interesting.  I wish it could be martinis or Cuban cigars fast cars or something sexy like that, but it is merely chocolate.  Not exactly James Bond-like.

I have spoken often on my blog about my addiction to coffee.   However, I was merely employing poetic license for comic effect.  I’m not actually addicted to coffee.

No, what I’m actually addicted to is International Delight® French Vanilla coffee creamer.  Frankly, if I had to drink coffee without it, I’d just as soon not drink coffee.  I have tried other ways to make coffee palatable.  Sugar (ugh!).  Sugar in the Raw (better, but still no dice).  Almond creamers.  Half-and-Half.  I have tried, quite literally, everything. Nothing worked.

But I am going to do it.

Step One:  Reduce the amount of International Delight® French Vanilla creamer that I put in my coffee.   The main complication with this step is that I’m not really sure how much I put in my coffee.  For the past 5 years I would just sort of tip the jug and let a good, healthy amount of creamer glorp and splunge into the cup.  Then I’d add a little coffee until it was a pleasant latte color.

But that is not scientific.  My experiment in kicking my addiction will require actual measuring.

Yesterday morning I measured how much creamer I put into my coffee, stopping when it was just this side of drinkable.  I finally stopped myself at 4 tablespoons for a standard sized coffee cup.  It was barely drinkable!  I could easily have gone on to 6 or 8 or more tablespoons.  But 4 tablespoons is my starting point.

In a week, I shall reduce that to 3 tablespoons.  My final goal will be, hopefully, one tablespoon of creamer.

Why am I doing this, you ask?  Isn’t it enough that I have already given up my lifelong addiction to Coke® and Peanut M&Ms®?  and French fries?  What is driving this insanity?

Well, a person gets of a certain age when it is time to give up the things we enjoy.  To paraphrase Voltaire:  With great age comes great dietary restrictions.

And, as it was once written so eloquently, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Most people don’t realize the author was writing about International Delight® French Vanilla coffee creamer, Coke®, and Peanut M&Ms®.  And Snickers® bars.  And Payday® bars.  And French fries.  And basically anything that tastes good.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

If you are a betting person, I recommend putting all your money on the coffee creamer.

16 comments

  1. Black coffee is good, I’ve started on black teas now as well. No sugar in my diet that nature didn’t put there either. It is doable. In the end your taste changes and everything processed begins to taste over sweetened – which it normally is.
    I might actually be holier than thou. 😉
    (Thanks for following recently by the way, I am about to press the button here too – not that button, the follow one….)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Bryntin. I’m not sure I’ll ever get to the black coffee phase. I am not opposed to creamers. I just feel like my intake of sweeteners was way too high. I have already cut way back and can already taste the difference. You are right about everything being over-sweetened. I have cut a lot of sugar and sweeteners out of my life over the past three weeks and already some of the things I used to enjoy already taste WAY too sweet to me. So I think I’m making progress. 🙂

      And I accept your challenge the the “Holier Than Invitational”. I once gave up chocolate for an entire week. I think that puts me way up there. Well, it wasn’t an entire week. But I was within 6 days of it being a week.

      And thank you for the follow! Looking forward to visiting your blog often.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! Good for you! As much as I love my coffee, I have never enjoyed the flavored creamers. I either have half & half or drink it black. Long, long ago, I used to drink it with cream and sugar, and in an attempt to cut calories, I tried to change from sugar to Sweet & Low. Keep in mind that this was before it was discovered how absolutely awful any of those chemicals are . . . all I knew was that it tasted so terrible that I found it more palatable to skip sweetener entirely, and never went back to sweet coffee.

    Kudos on the most creative way to use 1 Corinthians 13, lol. Next time I read it I’ll be thinking of junk food.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I have never been able to get used to artificial sweeteners. They taste okay going down, but they leave the most appalling aftertaste several minutes after drinking whatever they were in. Also, I decided today just to give up the International Delight creamer cold turnkey. I bought some half-and-half and some Sugar In the Raw and that’s just what I’m going to use from now on. If I can’t get used to that, well … I guess I’ll just give up coffee! lol!

      And I apologize for making the connection in your mind between 1 Corinthians 13 and junk food. If I could undo that, I would!

      Liked by 1 person

    • It’s definitely not the coffee. I drink Community (hotel blend) and I love it. It’s just that over time I began to become immune to the taste of the creamer and so began to put more and more in. Next thing I knew, I was drinking about 1 part creamer to 2 parts coffee. That can’t be good for me!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m of the opinion that there’s nothing you could add to coffee to make it palatable. On that basis, simply choose to give up coffee and the creamer addiction becomes irrelevant. You could even reward yourself with a peanut M&M for each cup you didn’t drink.

    Of course, you’d need to find a new source of caffeine…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I used to never drink coffee. I started drinking it with a coworker about ten years to be sociable. Next thing I know, I was low-key addicted to it. Now I drink 2 cups a day (morning and late evening). It is hard for me to get moving without it. I don’t think I would miss it if I could give it up, but I surely do love caffeine! I guess I could just pop the caffeine pills, but that doesn’t sound very satisfying.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I had to give up my sweetened vanilla almond milk this weekend when I realized I could drink a carton over the course of a weekend. I did a partial step and went to unsweetened vanilla- I’m definitely drinking less:(

    Liked by 2 people

    • Giving up sweetened anything is very difficult. Our bodies quite literally get addicted to sweeteners, which is one of the reasons they’re so hard to give up. I admire your efforts to give it up. I am drinking less coffee as I’m trying to give up sweetened creamer, so I can sympathize with you.

      Like

I Love Comments!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s