Signs That You Watch Too Much Star Trek

Starship Enterprise #1

I caught myself saying something the other day and it made me realize that perhaps I watch too much Star Trek, and in particular The Next Generation.  After thinking about it for a bit, it struck me how much of my vernacular has its roots in ST:TNG.  So here is my handy guide to let you know if you’re suffering from Trek-inosis.  Feel free to add your own in the comments.  Give yourself one point for each one of these you are guilty of.

  1. You are about to leave your abode.  You pause and look down at your pet, who is staring up at you wide eyed and mildly curious.  You say to them them, “You have the bridge, Number One” and depart purposefully.
  2. Someone closes the door to the dishwasher after loading it.  They pause and ask you if you have anything else to put in it, or should they start it?  You point upwards, pause briefly, then point down at the dishwasher and say, “Engage!”
  3. You are in a store and have just bought a gizmo.  The sales clerk then begins to talk rapidly about the confusing extended warranty options.  You look at the person next to you and say, “Analysis, Mr. Data.”
  4. You get onto an elevator that already has other people on it.  You take your position facing forward.  As you lean over to push your floor’s button, you then say, “One to beam up”.  As the doors close, you say, “Energize”.
  5. When someone says something to you that is ill-informed, poorly worded, or confusing, you raise one eyebrow and say, “Curious” or “Fascinating”.  [I know this was the original series and not TNG, but I still say it a lot.]
  6. If something stops working (e.g. your computer locks up), you announce dramatically, “He’s dead, Jim!”
  7. If someone asks you to do something complex or difficult, you say, “Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a __________!”   [Fill in the blank with something appropriate.  For instance, if asked to change a light bulb in a very high light fixture, you can say, “Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a member of Cirque du Soleil!”]
  8. If a piece of electrical equipment begins to make noise as if it is straining, such as a washing machine with an unbalanced load, yell dramatically, “She can’t take much more, Captain!”.  Bonus points for saying it in a Scottish accent.
  9. If someone accidentally bumps into you and you say, “Shields are holding.”
  10. If you’re riding with someone who is driving too fast or recklessly, as they approach a stop light, you say, “Take us out of warp, lieutenant.”

 

I have many more, but you get the idea.  Surely I’m not alone in this!

Add up your points from above, write them on a little slip of paper, and put them in the empty pickle jar by the door.  I’ll be having a drawing later for a door prize.

Add your own examples of Trek-inosis below in the comments if you like.

 

 

 

47 comments

  1. You missed out ‘Beam Me Up Scotty’ used everytime you want to get out of or away from a situation (like when every one else in the meeting you’re in is saying dumb things). Also, though not sure its a real quote – “its like Jim, but not as we know it” used in many ways

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Jedi Door Opening Trick is awesome. We can astound and amaze our children … up until the age of about 4, when they suddenly get street smart and realize we’ve been conning them all these years. But it’s fun while it lasts.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love all incarnations of Star Trek. ST:TNG holds a special place for me because it was the one that aired when my husband and I were first married, so we watched every episode as it came out, then watched reruns at 11:30 pm after work each weeknight, and then got the complete DVD set when it came out years ago. We are forever quoting the characters from that show. Worf: “I am NOT a merry man!” comes up frequently, as does Q, with all his Q-isms, like telling Riker he was a lot more fun “before the beard.”

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    • Ah, yes! Q! It was always a treat when he would make an appearance. Q-isms were my favorite! I have been tempted to buy the complete DVD set, but it is rather expensive … plus I wonder when I’d ever have the time to actually watch it. By the time I retire it will probably be available free online (I hope).

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      • I think we bought that set as a family Christmas gift one year. But I believe it’s currently on Netflix, which may carry it for a long time or a short time . . . you just never know. Probably worth hand-picking your favorite episodes here and there as a treat.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. My personal favorite:
    [someone to me] “Hey, can I ask you a question?”
    [Me] “A question. Since before your sun burned hot in space and before your race was born, I have awaited a question. “
    [someone] “huh, what?”

    Serious geek, I named my company from the title of the first STTNG episode…

    Liked by 1 person

        • Lol! I know exactly what you mean! I one time was struck with a similar realization and I began listening to the conversation around me with a different ear … and realized just how much of our language and our communications with one another consist of idioms, cliches, and sometimes out-and-out nonsense expressions. I actually began to feel sorry for people who had to learn English as a second language. So much of it is nonsensical if looked at literally. And I think it’s even worse here in Texas! Lol!

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I found that I used quite a lot of those! I liked the original series (though not as much as Star Wars and THAT universe). Please delve into more such subjects, as you apply your unique spin to them, Biff.

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  5. but hey Biff, you know that “shame” wasn’t for you, who no doubt speaks fluent Klingon, but for comment readers who might not.

    I’m givin’ her all she’s got, Captain!

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  6. Despite the obvious sarcasm of this post, I feel like number 7 is actually used in real life. At least I use it, and I’m not even a big fan of TOS. DS9 FTW! But maybe its just me doing it. Me doing odd things would not be unheard of. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, it wasn’t sarcasm. 😀 I actually say all those things … and more … fairly frequently. I’m not sure what that says about me! Lol!

      I do still enjoy TOS from time to time and even though the stories are awesome, the costumes and settings are a bit too kitschy for me sometimes (though I do make allowances for it being the 1960s). TNG is far and away my favorote, followed by Voyager. I never really got into DS9 since it came on about the time in my life when I had very little time to watch TV. Perhaps I’ll give it another chance someday soon.

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      • DS9 has a different tone that the other shows, of course since it’s not set on a ship. It feels more serious than the other shows. Less exploration, more politics. There’s a whole religion thing that weaves through it. More plot lines that continue on through multiple episodes. I think that also allows more space for character development. Anyway, its different, but in a good way as far as I am concerned.

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        • Yes, that was my recollection from the few episodes I remember seeing. It had a darker vibe to it, which was a fairly radical departure from the other ST franchises, which tended to be more optimistic and hopeful. To me it seemed more gritty and Star Wars – like.

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  7. I’ve been a loyal Trek fan since I was 10, and the Original Series started. Our family is so nerdy that we’ve been to fan expos and met Johnathan Frakes (really funny guy), Marina Sirtis (surely more outgoing than her character on the show), Nana Visitor (a really nice person), Rene Auberjonois (gracious as all get out), and of course, James T. Kirk himself, William Shatner (boy, has he got stories to tell!).

    Liked by 2 people

    • Wow! That is so awesome you got to meet all of those people in person. I would love to do that. The closest I ever got was meeting Leonard Nimoy when I was about 8. It was after the series and before the movies and so he was a bit down on his luck, I think, and had come through our one-horse town reading his poetry to a theater full of appreciative but bewildered people.

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  8. I am sorry to say I never watched Star Trek. :/ I could write a post, “Signs you’ve never watched Star Trek”… and I could just link up your post and say “if you don’t understand this” 😛 Mouahahahahahaah

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