I am ready to declare victory on my New Year’s resolution to write sporadic, disjointed posts on my blog with no sense of regularity, and interspersed with days upon days of inactivity.
You can’t see me, but I’m giving myself a high five right now.
I can now cross that resolution off the list. Normally it would take an entire year to amass enough blog posts to determine if I had been successful or not, but I think 4 blog posts in ten days is a statistically significant sample and it certainly allows me to extrapolate where I might be 355 days from now. Oh yeah! Looking good! There’s really no need to write any more posts. I think we can all see where this is heading. Pardon me while I take a victory lap around my living room.
Ow! Dang-it! Stubbed my toe on the coffee table. Give me just a second …
Okay. I’m back. That table leg must have hit a nerve just right because it caused my eyes to sweat profusely. Ha ha! Who would’ve thought that the toe bone is connected to the eye bone? I may not know much about anatomy but … well … I know that song. Parts of it anyway.
Okay … enough silliness. I know my blog readers well enough to know that you don’t come here looking for levity, jocularity, or interesting topics. I’m pretty sure you think of my blog like an 8 AM Monday morning meeting. That is, you only go if there are doughnuts.
Sorry, no doughnuts today. There are, however, some little packets of faux Parmesan cheese left over from the pizza party we had last month. Feel free to tuck in. I’m pretty sure they don’t have an expiration date.
This, then, is what this blog has come to. Don’t we deserve better than this? Don’t we deserve something better than packets of faux Parmesan cheese? Sure, there may also be a packet or two of red pepper flakes, but does that really make anything better? Is it too much to ask to get an occasional doughnut? Even those weird ones that no one ever eats?
Rest assured that I shall send a strongly worded email to the management to let our demands be known.
In the meantime, let us enjoy these packets of Dijon mustard and lite mayonnaise that were left over from the company picnic back in August. What is the worst that could happen?