Poor Biff’s Almanac — What Day Is This?

Poor Biff's Almanac Graphic (Colored) #1

Hello, Everyone!

I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage.  I have been off from work for about two weeks and as I explained in a post back in July, I have lost all sense of time and timeliness.  I don’t know what day of the week it is, what the date is, how many days are left before I’m supposed to go back to work.  Heck, I hardly even remember what year it is!  Christmas has compounded that issue somewhat.

Though I am enjoying the heck out of being off from work, there is a slight price to be paid.  The first price to be paid is the nagging question, “Why can’t my entire life be like this?”  I know there are very obvious answers to that, not the least of which is, “Because.

Still, it is frustrating.

The second price to be paid is a constant feeling of disorientation and discombobulation.  The past few weeks have been filled with questions such as the following.

  1. Why is this TV show coming on on Tuesday night?  Oh .. wait … it’s Friday.
    .
  2. Wow!  Chic-Fil-A is open on Sunday!  Oh … wait … it’s Tuesday.
    .
  3. This milk is still good.  It doesn’t expire until the 22nd.   *spewing*  Ugh!   This is the 29th!
    .
  4. I don’t have to set the trash out by the curb for another 4 days.  OMG!  They’re here!
    .
  5. This 75% off coupon doesn’t expire until the 27th.  Oh … wait … that was 2 days ago.

And a dozen other things like that.

In addition to those things, I am starting to feel a growing sense of uneasiness about going back to work.  The following worries are starting to haunt my every waking moment.

  1.  Will I remember all of my passwords on my first day back?  I can’t seem to remember them at the moment.
    .
  2. What was I working on before I left for the holidays?
    .
  3. What if I accidentally miscalculated the number of vacation days I had left in 2017 and I actually owe the company money now?
    .
  4. What were the names of the people I work with again?
    .
  5. Did I have any meetings scheduled for my first day back?  If so, what were they about?

My only hope is that all of my coworkers will be going through the exact same thing I will be.

14 comments

  1. I’m completely thrown off my mental calendar because not only have I been off work since Christmas Day, but the one day I was supposed to work (Sunday morning), everything was shut down because of how much snow we’ve gotten. Almost seven feet since Christmas Day! So take someone who works just about every Sunday and allow her to sleep in, and boom. Recipe for mental disaster and calendar challenge.

    I’m like you: I hope I remember the names of my coworkers when I head back on Wednesday. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi, Lynda! I’m glad I’m not the only one that will be walking around completely bewildered on my first day back to work. I may have to keep looking at my employee badge to make sure what my own name is. But I’m sure that if I look lost there will be plenty of people willing to tell me where to go! Lol!

      Good luck on your first day back! I’m rooting for you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Our office is closed from the 22nd of December to January 2nd, and I can’t distinguish the days of the week. Our passwords change the day each season begins, so I too have not had time for the new one to stick, though at my age a lot of things get forgotten. Thank goodness for post-it notes, and my little “cheat” notebook!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Biff… Biffffffff Ssssssssock POW!! (sorry, other Biff-readers…. no, I will NOT stop doing this, if anything, I’ll probably get more and more annoying, to the point you’ll all file a complaint against me, and ask Biff – Biff, never tell us your real name, ok? I don’t think I could live, knowing you are a Carl, or a James… Please be kind, let me believe forever that everyone in Texas also calls you Biff… Well not “everyone”… unless you “know” everyone in Texas… Do you, Biff? – to get a WordPress restraining order! Get used to it, or just don’t read comments with “Cyranny” writen above them)

    Now, where was I?

    Oh yeah… I can totally relate. I only got 6 days off for the Holidays and I felt exactly the same… But now I am back to work (gaaawwwd I hate those 5 am shifts!!) and although I did remember all my passwords (We have so many, I sometimes wonder if we work for NASA) my computer greeted me with 3 “your password is almost due, do you wish to change it?” Which is a tricky question, because I didn’t really want to, but I knew if I didn’t do it, tomorrow, I’d get to my desk and get a “Uh oh! Your password doesn’t work anymore, because you were too lazy to change it yesterday! Call the IT team!” message, and of course, IT doesn’t have to show up for work at 5!

    Anyway… I hope you are enjoying what’s left of your vacation 🙂 And thank you for “discombobulation”… Wow, I’ll probably never use it, but you know how much I love new words, and this one is definately a keeper. I’ll keep it just next to “Vespertine”!

    Muuuuuah!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Cyranny! I always welcome your comments (no matter how long or short) and always get a smile out of your obsession with my name. So far that has been one of the highlights of having a blog. To think that, way back when I first started this blog, I nearly chose another name due to a coin toss! I can never think of names for things, so don’t worry; I shall never change the name of this blog. I may also consider legally changing my real name to Biff.

      I share your worry about passwords. I had to change mine literally on my last day at work before the holidays and now I’m biting my nails wondering if I will remember it after 2 weeks. I don’t want to spend my first day back at work locked into an epic battle of wills with the IT department.

      You’re welcome for the new word “discombobulation”. It was a favorite word of one of my teachers way back in the stone age and so it entered my vocabulary at an early age. I, too enjoy using it! (Also, “Vespertine” is a new word to me, so I shall have to think of a way to work it into casual conversations often. Especially since it describes me perfectly!)

      Happy (early) new year!

      Muah!

      Liked by 1 person

      • haha Yes! I liked your list BTW. Work. My mother always said and still does: You have to have something to hang your week on. Work is a bit like that, well, for most – it is like an anchor, of sorts. Or a refuge from prevailing wife-force winds. You must be up late, that normal for Texans? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thanks, Wilt! I’m glad you liked it. I was just listing my actual fears. Your mother sounds very wise. She’s spot-on about having to have something to hang your week on. As much as I complain about work, I have no idea what I’d do with myself if I didn’t work.

          Yes, I was up pretty late. I don’t know about most Texans, but I have always been a night owl. I much prefer to be up late at night rather than early in the morning. Of course, that could just be because late at night is the only time of the day have have any peace and quiet. This blog wouldn’t exist if I didn’t stay up late at night. 🙂

          Liked by 2 people

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