It is Christmastime here in Texas, and do you know what that means?
No? Neither do us Texans. December is always a grab-bag of random weather events this time of year.
It might rain so much we feel like we should build an ark and start gathering up our pets … or it might be so dry that people are decorating tumbleweeds instead of Christmas trees.
It might be so cold that it begins to seem plausible that the woolly mammoth may make a comeback and sweep across the plains … or it might be so warm the Christmas carolers wear shorts and tank-tops and flip flops.
We might have a white Christmas as snow drifts down from the heavens … or we might have a brown Christmas as dust drifts in from west Texas and recreates the dust bowl.
In short, we never know just what the hell kind of weather we’re going to have around here in December. At the moment it is sunny and 80F (27C) and very humid. But tomorrow the high is only suppose to be 55F (13C) with a slight chance of rain. And by Christmas? Who knows? Rain? Snow? Fog? Gloom of night? Frogs? Locusts?
Anyway, it got me to thinking what Christmas carols might have been written if they had originated here in Texas. Below are some I thought of. They’re very lame, I admit!
Can you think of any more? Leave them in the comments if you do!
What Christmas? (White Christmas)
It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like Cryostasis (It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas)
I’ll Have a Blue (Belle) Christmas (I’ll Have a Blue Christmas — Blue Bell is a local and popular brand of ice cream)
Rudy, the White Toothed Meteorologist (Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer)
Here Come Sandy Clouds (Here Comes Santa Claus)
The Little Drover Boy (The Little Drummer Boy)
Francis, the Lawman (Frosty the Snowman — Francis Hamer was the Texas Ranger involved in killing Bonnie and Clyde)
Barrel of the Ales (Carol of the Bells)
O Hail-y Night (O Holy Night)