Poor Biff’s Almanac — A Laborious Day
That title is a lie.
I did no labor today. Or very little labor. Honestly, I did as little as possible. I am taking a little sabbatical from our society’s constant pressure to constantly be doing something. Go to work. Mow the yard. Vacuum the carpet. Shampoo the dog. Wash the car. Go buy groceries. Take those shirts to the dry cleaner. Fold those towels. Unclog that drain. Fix that squeaky floorboard. Replace that burned-out bulb.
It never ends! And on those rare occasions when I flop in my favorite easy chair (which also needs to be steam cleaned) and reach for my laptop (which really needs to be backed up and have all the latest updates installed) and navigate to my blog (which I haven’t posted anything in for two weeks), I am made to feel guilty. No, not by anyone in particular. Just by Society (with a capital S). Society frowns upon downtime, even while telling you to take more of it. Society stares at you like a disapproving schoolmarm when you sit down for a moment to rest (Rest is for the weak!), even after she just told you to rest for a moment to get ready for that Next Big Chore that’s waiting for you.
If one more person tells me that I need a hobby, I think I will make a Biff-shaped hole in the wall and run screaming down the street. Who has time for a hobby? And even when I sit down to work on a hobby, there is that schoolmarm-ish Society looking at you disapprovingly again as if to say, “Shouldn’t you really be cleaning out the attic instead of sitting there fiddling with those doo-ma-flitchies?” I have found hobbies to be very stressful. There is nothing like sitting down to enjoy a bit of hobby-time to make you remember all of the other things you should be doing instead.
So, I am rebelling. I am taking a page out of 11-year-old Biff’s playbook. Man, I knew how to shirk responsibility back then! I was a master at it. Nobody could avoid responsibility like I could back then! My mom could barely get the CH sound of the word “chore” out of her mouth before I was bolting serpentine down the street like a rabbit who just had a canon go off near his warren.
If you need me, I’ll be sitting in my pet-stained chair, not writing a blog, not updating my laptop, but just listening to iTunes and staring off into space.
Oh … and by the way … happy Labor Day.