Poor Biff’s Almanac — Biff Wins the Day
I often wonder why we pronounce Wednesday as “Wins day”. Or “Wynn’s Day”. Or “When’s Day?”. Or “Wind stay”. Or any other number of phonetical ways to spell it. We never pronounce it Wed-nes-day … unless we are being silly. Which I often am.
Never underestimate the laziness of humans when it comes to speech. When it comes to the spoken word, we will abbreviate, truncate, abridge, shorten, clip, trim, dock, prune, curtail, pare, lop, and bastardize until what comes out of our mouths bears not the slightest resemblance to whatever collection of letters we use to represent said sound.
But making sounds is easy. Writing is hard. And since humans as a rule are quite lazy, why don’t we truncate the way we write down sounds and leave the sounds alone? Instead we will minimize the sound of a word to the point that it retains none of its original meaning, while giving its written-down form enough letters to fill up a small pamphlet.
No wonder no one writes any more. It flies in the face of our basic laziness.