Biff Sock Pow

Finding the humor in everyday life.

Poor Biff’s Almanac — Friday Afternoon Edition

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At long last it is Friday.

Yep, I’m standing on the threshold of another weekend that starts out as an overly-ambitious to-do list but that ends up as a rumpled piece of paper in the recycling bin with nary a check-mark on it.  Usually, my sole accomplishment for the weekend is coming up with the to-do list.  My enthusiasm wanes pretty quickly after writing down the list.

But this weekend will be different.

For one thing, I am not going to make a list this weekend.  It would be pointless since it is Easter weekend.  My to-do list this weekend would look something like this:

  1.  Go to Target and look at all of their Easter candy and basket-stuffing knick-knacks.  Browse for 30 minutes without picking up a single thing.  Become disillusioned with the modern world.  Leave Target.
  2. Go to World Market and buy a bunch of overpriced German and Belgian chocolates in cool shapes and packages.
  3. Return home and assemble an Easter basket while suffering buyer’s remorse at having spent $100 on chocolate that will sit in the pantry for six months and then get thrown away.
  4. Boil eggs.
  5. Use all the eggs that cracked during boiling to make egg salad.
  6. Ponder if anyone likes egg salad besides me.
  7. Shrug shoulders and realize it doesn’t make any difference.  Just more for me.
  8. Suffer another bout of buyer’s remorse regarding the overpriced candy and doo-dads, but eat a big dollop of egg salad to blunt the remorse.
  9. Ruminate on how saving for retirement is really just a fool’s errand anyway.
  10. Get everyone together to dye Easter eggs.  Discover once again that dipping an egg in all of the colors just makes brown eggs.  Also realize once again that I don’t have an artistic cell in my body.
  11. Ponder briefly on if I can pass off brown Easter eggs as organic, free range, eggs.
  12. Travel to visit in-laws.  Eat too much.  (This seems to be common to all holidays.)
  13. Spend the post-Easter denouement Sunday night eating chocolate and egg salad.
  14. Wonder just what the heck I am doing with my life.

 

I think it is pretty obvious why I am not making a to-do list this weekend.

 

Happy Easter, everyone!

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3 thoughts on “Poor Biff’s Almanac — Friday Afternoon Edition

  1. Happy Easter, Biff 🙂 I hope your list-free holiday won’t go wrong because of forgotten points. (especially the 2 guilt episodes!) But I believe in you, you can make it!! Go Biff go!!

    😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy Easter and that’s a great, great list! I agree with No. 9, and am familiar with numerous parts of the list. Thanks for posting this!

    Like

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