The Ascent of Biff
Today was a good day.
But then again, most Fridays are. Almost by definition.
However, a good day is not the same as an exciting day. There is not much excitement to be had while sitting in an office working on month-end financial reports, updating schedules, reviewing staffing, and knocking out a few mandatory on-line training modules that were due.
I console myself by telling myself that a million years of evolution led to my being able to sit in a climate-controlled box while manipulating ephemeral concepts and abstractions on non-permanent media to be stored in equally abstract locations as a safeguard against the eventuality that someone somewhere someday may want to audit these things.
We all know that that’s not going to happen, but it’s important that we all buy into the fantasy or else it unravels and falls apart before our eyes. Our very society is built upon the vague fear that we may be audited someday and asked to prove that all those hours we spent in our climate controlled boxes were, in fact, value added. We all know they weren’t, but that too is part of the ruse that we all buy into.
In other news, I successfully passed my online training module on Ladder Safety by successfully answering 8 of the 10 questions correctly on the assessment following the 30 minute training video. Never mind that no part of my job requires that my feet leave the ground. However, I am now certified to climb ladders of up to 12 feet (excluding articulated ladders) provided:
- I have the correct PPE (Personal Protection Equipment)
- I have a properly certified “ladder buddy” to spot me while I am more than 1 foot above the floor
- The ladder conforms to UL/ALI/ANSI/CSA standards and has the proper markings
- There are no non-ladder-certified people within a ten foot radius of said ladder at the time of my ascent
- The area in which the ladder is in use is properly cordoned off from incidental foot traffic.
This is definitly NOT what I had in mind when I used to dream of climbing the corporate ladder someday.