Pope Breaks Clavicle in Bizarre Curling Accident
Condition of Mitre Unknown
My experiment in using titular alliteration (if you’ll pardon the expression) in order to boost visits and reads ended in abysmal failure. Readership actually dropped. I can only assume that means people are very antipathetic towards alliteration, and possibly all forms of verbal trickery, up to and including onomatopoeia. Bang! There .. I said it. I went there.
Anyway, in a new experiment to boost readership and views (all in the name of science, of course), I am taking a new tack. That is, I plan to take a page out of the National Enquirer’s playbook and go with eye-catching, lurid, outrageous titles. The downside, of course, is that the body of the post will having nothing at all to do with the title. But you know, no system is perfect. I mean, just look at the solar system. It is completely riddled with flaws. That whole Pluto-isn’t-a-planet thing … what a debacle! I am pretty sure heads rolled at the Department of Planetary Nomenclature. Or, if not heads, certainly eyes did!
To prevent panic among curling enthusiasts, I should point out that the Pope did not actually break his clavicle whilst curling since he was primarily a sweeper. I’ll keep you informed on breaking news regarding his mitre.