Biff Sock Pow

Finding the humor in everyday life.

Un-Blogging the Brain

 

plumber-holding-plunger-cartoon-aloysius-patrimonio

I typically go through my days (especially Mondays) in a kind of haze.  I get up, shave, shower, dress, and head off to my life in the taupe colored box where I sit and play Excel or PowerPoint or Word, three massively single-player fantasy role-playing games (MSFRPG). These are games in which the player fantasizes about living a more interesting life and can role-play that what they’re doing actually makes a difference in any way.  But that’s not what I set out to write about.

I was saying that I usually go through my days in something of a haze, only to awaken at quitting time so that I can go home where the walls are not taupe, but Winter Orchard white (though some have argued that it is either dove white or Swiss coffee white … an argument that just causes me to stare and blink, like a pigeon staring at a Space Shuttle console).

However, now my daily routine has been changed somewhat by my having this blog.  Now, rather than walking through my day in a haze, I now walk about staring at everything keenly, trying to find a topic for a blog post to be written later that evening while surrounded by my Acadia white walls (or are they Chantilly Lace white?).

This new me stares at everything like a frog contemplating a stipule on a water lily and thinks distractedly, “I could write about that, I guess.”

I will pick up my stapler and contemplate it like Hamlet considering Yorick’s skull.  “Alas, poor Swingline! I know it well.  An office tool of poorly feeding staples, many of which are rusty or will bend the wrong way even when joining a single sheet of paper to itself.  It hath defied removal a thousand times as I tried to remove the misshapen staple; how embedded in my thumb it is!

It is slightly unnerving how I now stare at everyday objects, thinking I can extract a blog post out of them if I could but squeeze them hard enough in the wine press of my mind.  But soft!  What blog wine through yonder word press breaks?  It is Ethyl acetate (or possibly cork taint).

But after awhile I will set down the stapler or tape dispenser or stress ball and get back to my spreadsheet.

 

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